================================================================== A spiral of negative thinking.   A short episode that was colored by a delusion. December 23, 2010. Hiromasa Niguti. ==================================================================
	There is some problem whichever I choose.
				One day, I went to the preparation room graduate students often gather in though it was for the lunch time by chance. When it gets in the room, several woman students were taking lunch. They are graduate students and the research staffs. Apparently it looks like there isn't a man. 'Why, only women!'. I in spite of oneself uttered unnecessary words carelessly. But just after that, I notice there is one familiar young man among the women. He was taking a meal, keeping silence as if it hides oneself across the woman.
	'Oops, there is a man. I'm sorry. I didn't notice there are you here.'. I apologized like that obediently.
				Just then he suddenly turns around to me and grins. And, he said 'You are envious, aren't you?' though I don't know what intention he is with. Anyhow it is troublesome question. If I answer 'yes', by any chance, he may say 'Whom do you like?'. Or he may throw me the other troublesome questions. But if I answer 'no', the women will guess that I said the women aren't charming. It will cause some problems whichever answer I choose. I got confused, not knowing what to say. But I have to say something. The man in question is waiting my answer with spiteful smile. I, while saying 'Let me see' and muttering unclearly, started to think about what to do. But, what a unlucky man I am!
	At that time, I already am in the middle of terrible difficulty like a disadvantageous chess game though it doesn't know why. In other words, I had fallen into the endless spiral of negative thinking. The things don't seem to go well however I manipulate words well. It is checkmate anymore. 'Er, I think it is better to not utter comments about this question. So everyone, Good bye'. I, narrowly saying like that, went away from there with casual attitude.
	In this, all is happy. Or not?
		The physical world the cognition-subject sees.		Civilization and living body.			Civilization and living body.
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