To old edition.
			The dream like reality.         The former English revised edition was revised like this in November 2, 2013. Hiromasa Noguti.
			5, The true character of Yama
	"Why, look at that! A dead person came falling in again". "Really? How many people has come today? Don't you think that souls who come here increased recently?". When I'm about to wake up, I suddenly heard the conversation like that. However, since they speak with terribly low tone, it feels weird somehow. My consciousness, because of the having heard the queer voices, started to float toward the awakening from the sleep rapidly, as if it is the bubble occurring in a deep sea. In my feeling, it seems there are several persons here probably, though it is unclear because I still am in the process of waking. However, it is strange feeling. Although it seems to be hearing in dream, it also feels it is the real conversation. Anyhow I narrowly had noticed I'm in the abnormal situation. But since it doesn't know what abnormal situation it is, it feels uneasy somehow. Although it doesn't know whether it is the effect of that, I suddenly recalled the horrible situation of the moment I fell in the dark space from the broken bottom of the hollow. However, after that what happened on me? Although it can recollect that I felt the fairy's anger while falling in the dark space, I can't recollect the things which occurred after that. At that time, it seems that I had lost consciousness. However, where on earth did I fall in? Certainly at that time the fairy told me "Fall into Hell!". If so, am I in hell now? So, did I hear the demons' conversation ? I got caught to the impulse to confirm the thing, opening my eyes. But it feels a fear of doing so somehow. I for the moment imagined the surrounding situation under the condition my eyes were shut. But, it can know nothing as it thought before. It narrowly only known the thing I'm living because it feels the pains at various place of my body. However, if I'm living, by any chance, it may be that I'm still in somewhere of the real world. But it may not be so, if it considers the thing that their horrible voices resound in queer atmosphere as if it fades out into humid air. I thought about the thing for a little while with me still being shutting the eyes. However, I can't find out the answer. Although on one hand, it seems to be the dream, on the other hand, it seems to be the actual occurances. By any chance, would it be because I'm apt to want to think the things making me feel a fear and danger all are the things which occurred in a dream? Anyhow, the strange conversations still are heard frequently. Although there seem to be several persons, as it thought just before, they don't seem to be the human beings living in the real world somehow if it considers their voice. Rather it seems to be monstrous beings or other. "Am I in hell now? Was I thrown in to the hell by that fairy? Or is this a dream?". Various conjectures crossed my mind while my consciousness becomes dim strangely. But, it doesn't know which conjecture is right. So, I tentatively thought which conjecture has the logical consistency. First, it is certain that the conversation in the weird voice to be heard even now obstructed my sleep whether it is a dream or not. So, my sleep became shallow considerably. And in the situation like that, I recalled that the bottom of the hollow broke, thought that this place may be somewhere of hell. If it considers the circumstances like that, The conversation to be heard now seems to not be a dream probably. However, needless to say, it can't assert there isn't possibility that it is seeing the dream my sleep became shallow because of the weird conversation. But, while it seems to be hard to think so, it also seems to be hard to think this is the occurances of the real world. If so, as it thought before, should I think I fell in to hell? Needless to say, it can't know whether it is really so, if it doesn't open the eyes. And, nothing would be solved however deeply it sinks oneself into the thought. I opened slightly my eyes timidly, narrowly summoning my courage.
	And, when it sees, several huge onis (The word of "oni" means Japanesque demon) are talking. When the weird flames around their body flare up, those flames often fly around the dim sky, as if it is a will-o'-the-wisp. Then, the flames like a will-o'-the-wisp fade out into the air, soon, after staying into the air for a little while, with flame waving slowly. By any chance, it may be that it is will-o'-the-wisp, itself. Those probably were the soul to get fallen in to hell which doesn't allow them to revive everlastingly. And, the hell like that was called the hell which takes away the senses. It was certain anymore that this place I'm in is somewhere of hell. Anyhow, what a horrible hell it is!. In even hell I'm in now, it can see the gruesome sight is unrolling. I prayed that it is as a mere dream, shutting my eyes in spite of oneself. However, since my consciousness condition has become better than before, it is aware of the thing that it isn't so in reality. After this, What happens on me? Would I have to climb the mountain full of the needles, chased by the onis? Anyhow, it is awkward to move carelessly until it grasps the present situation. I kept on pretending to be sleeping, made my ears sensitive to know the present situation with me opening slightly my eyes. However, it is hard to grasp exactly the present situation under the awkward conditions like this about looking. So, I opened my eyes completely, while paying attention to the onis' behavior. It can see between one oni's legs many slender weirdly shaped rocks rising toward the red sky as if it is a steeple. The soil isn't seen in the ground at all. Whole of the ground is covered with various rocks and stones. It can't see even one weed. Instead, small yellow crystals like sulfur had accumulated around the base of the slender rocks like the steeple as if it has welled up from the ground. But, the horrible sight isn't only that. Red liquid like blood was oozing out of the slits of the yellow crystals. And it, while bubbling, is flowing out in between the rocks. I traced its flowing red liquid with my eyes. When it sees, the red liquid, flowing down, while forming the pattern like a stitch among the rocks, is forming the several small stream with flowing together. And, the red streams, gathering while flowing, had formed the muddy river which often is whirling. Although it doesn't know why, the onis had named this muddy river as the vein of the gold dust.
	When it turns the eyes to the other place, the swift muddy reddish current is forming the deep canyon with scraping or drilling the rocks while often throwing its reddish spray into the air. And, it can see in the other side the muddy reddish cataract falling among the weird rocks which looks like a monster. Hereupon, I noticed the weird steam welling from the plunge pool of waterfall is rising, and scattering the smell of the dead. Furthermore, I also hear the keen cry the dead give off because of sadness and pain echoing with the gruesome reddish sky. It is the sight so uncanny that it can't compare with the hell able to see in the ancient time's picture scrolls and books or other. Anyhow, what a horrible sight this is! The vast onis getting hungry are chasing the dead insistently. It seems that drinking blood of dead person and eating the flesh of dead person are only the daily behavior for onis. To tell the truth, it may be that the words of hell mean the civilization losing the spirit left as the wrecked world, after the people finished eating all because of the worldly desires. In other words, the oni was the human being being same as us originally. If so, the onis may be keeping the humanity at least with the bottom of the heart though it may be slightly. I hoped it is so, faintly. This expectancy may be only mere phantom. But, it was certain that I felt the sadness the onis feel in their mind. However, it doesn't know what horrible situation it falls into if it is caught to them. Although it wants to escape to somewhere at once, it would be caught, being noticed at once if it moves carelessly. It seems it is better to keep on pretending to be sleeping for the moment as it had done until now. If this goes well, it may be possible to escape from the onis, finding the chance. I took care to not move oneself, when hiding my face stealthily. And, I was watching for the chance to get away from them, while worrying that it is treaded on by their big foot. However, the hell isn't so easy world. "Why, you in spite of already being a dead person are pretending a dead person, won't you? Stop the silly behavior!". Suddenly, horrible voice resounded over me, saying so. Because of the too horrible voice, I can't move as if it is a frozen fish. When I glances up with opening the eyes slightly for a moment, oni's big arm suddenly was stretched toward me. And when the oni grasped the part of the clothes' lapel with his thumb and forefinger, I was lifted at once, unable to do even slight resistance. "Alas, I'm eaten!". When murmuring like that in my heart in spite of oneself, I had shut my eyes, before it notices. However, it seems that I escaped from being eaten at once, for the moment though it doesn't know why. It is that the oni shook me many times with the situation it is lifting me though I was shutting my eyes because of the terrible horror. Would this be the punishment of something? Or, would it be the preparedness necessary to eat me? If this oni intends to necessarily eat me, I hope I'm swallowed at one stroak. I don't want the oni keeping me in suspense for long. And, it also is the problem that the oni is about twenty meters long. If the oni carelessly drops me on the ground full of the rocks, I would die, broken to pieces by the rocks, or transfixed with the keen slender rock. But by any chance, if I is dropped into the muddy river, it may be the chance to get away from here. However, I don't know the situation of the ground I would be dropped on, because I still am shutting my eyes. Thereupon I, when opening my eyes, summoning my courage, looked at the ground full of the rocks down. Just then, face of the oni approaches me rapidly. He seems to be the oni called gyu-ki -a demon like an ox- because it has two horns on the head. It suddenly opened the mouth with the horrific looks. Exposed keen dogteeth reflects light of hell for moment, as if it is a knife or other. I, thinking it is eaten at last, lost consciousness with horror.
			However, when I was shaken by the gyu-ki, and takes back consciousness, I still hadn't been eaten even now that thing has come to this pass. Although it doesn't know why, the gyu-ki, when putting me on the ground slowly, started to speak in the coaxing voice. "Listen to me without being afraid of me. You have to choose whether you become a oni or stay in the dead. Think carefully which do you choose because this is hard decision.". And, he, when finishing saying so, looked at me as if it requests my answer. But, I don't know how to answer. I sank into the thought, trying to find a proper answer. However, it seems that his intonation is queer somehow or other. I had also felt a kind of weird pressure because his low voice doesn't balance with the queer intonation. Although I feel like vomiting somehow, I could narrowly escape from the weird pressure with turning my eyes away from the gyu-ki. Then, the gyu-ki said you are the dead person. But, I'm still living certainly. I was only dropped to this hell because of the fairy's anger. It would be that the oni don't know the thing probably. I, when looking up at the onis timidly, told the onis about the thing and asked them to return me to my ground. However, they, when looking at each face, falling silent suddenly, regard me with their looks exposing amazement. And, the next moment, they have burst into laughter all together when looking at each other with glancing up. But, I don't know why they laugh like this. I was regarding them only in silence, while thinking what to do. Just then, blue oni having one horn on the head, when staring at me, started to speak. "Oh, we didn't think you are so silly. Persons having come to the hell are called the dead whether it is dead or not. Did you understand?". And, he grinned, showing his fangs as if it sneers at me. However, Isn't his talk incoherent?
	"But Isn't it that the persons who died are called the dead?". I had asked like that the blue oni in spite of oneself, without thinking deeply. But, the blue oni shouts "why, don't say nonsense!". And when I looks up at the blue oni with the bewilderment, he started to speak with the strange logic. "Listen to me, making your ears sensitive! I will tell you special secret. You know, this hell is the hell you produced. You were in this hell ever since you were living.". "Why, I wasn't in this hell while I'm living. What do you mean?". I asked him like that, gazing at the blue oni since I had become accustomed to the horrible looks of oni with considerable difficulty. The other onis except the blue oni are watching at our talk, giggling for fun once in a while. Probably because of that, the blue oni kept on doing one's talk more smoothly in one's convenience, becoming vigorous increasingly. "You know, you are possessed to one's worldly desires completely. Do you say it looks for a truth really? No, you are only pretending to look for a truth, having given up in far old days. You can't respect the other person because it can't respect oneself! Isn't it so?". . However, I can't understand what does he mean. Where would there be so incoherent answer else? I got bewildered terribly, not knowing how to react. And, before noticing, I had glanced at the other onis. It seems to probably be because it wanted to confirm their reaction to his talk. And, probably the behavior like that was based on the thought that they also would put one's head on one side, as well as me. However, contrary to my expectancy, they are nodding strongly as if it had understood completely. "Is the oni's manner for thinking different from the human being's manner? If so, it may be useless to talk with them". I looked back at the blue oni, thinking like that in bewilderment.
	Just then, the blue oni stares at me as if it looks down at me. And he again uttered the words unclear of meaning. "Oh, my talk may be difficult a little for you, because you know nothing else but to make money. I can understand why the good fairy was angry against you, because this hell is the hell you have produced. In other words, it is you also are us as well". The meaning is quite unclear, as before. In spite of that, the blue oni gazed at me as if it asks my answer. However, I don't intend to answer anymore. It seems it is the common truth anywhere that a talkative fellow lacks substance. "He must know nothing, in reality. He only is talking in the impulse to lord it over me.". I, thinking so, despised the blue oni secretly. Just then, the blue oni suddenly exposed his anger in the grim glance. By any chance he may have noticed me despising him. He started to talk in the horrible voice. "Listen to me, shutting up! You have to taste this hell to the full! Because you are the dead person!". However, I no longer had the dread of oni. "His brain seems to be odd as the appearance of him is odd. Isn't there a oni having the normal heart and thought somewhere?". I, when murmuring like that in my heart, turned my eyes away from them.
			However, when it sees carefully, they all have the silly-looking face. Rather their faces which once made me feel the terror seem even to be funny now though it doesn't know why. I got bewildered because of the gap of the impression like that. Anyhow, in this, it doesn't seem that it can do a serious talk with them. It would be that the onis aren't so wise originally. It would be that my subjective impression that the oni is a terror must have made me only feel the dignity the oni isn't supposed to have originally. If not, would it be that the onis came to have the silly-looking face because the change of something suddenly occurred on them when talking with me? Anyhow, I would have to look for the normal- looking oni more than them. I had sunk into the thought before noticing. If I leave from them suddenly, they may think I ignored them with contempt. And if they think so actually, it is certain that I'm eaten by them. I got bewildered, not knowing what to do. Just then, image of Yama suddenly crosses my heart. So, I recalled Yama who is the sovereign of hell is here. The existence to decide where I go isn't someone else but only Yama. I, when looking up at the onis at once, asked them "Where is Yama?", omitting the honorific title, before noticing. Anyhow, what a careless fellow I am! I froze with the horror for a moment.
	And, as it thought before, the onis stare at me with sharp look as if it knows my mind. "What did you say now? Why can't you refer to him as Yama who is the great sovereign of the hell?". Horrible voices resounded with whole of the hell. Now that thing has come to this pass, there is no way to do but to apologize persistently. "Oh, I'm sorry! I will refer to him as Yama who is the sovereign of the hell. Please allow me!". I, saying so, many times, asked the onis to allow me, with glancing up frequently while prostrating oneself before them. However, when I notices suddenly, the onis are looking up at the center of heavens. And it doesn't seem that they feel the anger on me though it doesn't know why. "Er, sorry, would you allow me please?". I have called out like that toward them when looking up at the onis with the bewilderment timidly. However, the onis don't give me even a glance as if it doesn't intend to answer. I regarded them only in silence, not knowing how to think. Just then, one strage thing occurs. They suddenly started to speak with the childish voice, in the same timing and same tone while looking up at the heavens all together. They say. "Oh, don't mind! A slip of the tongue is said to be true intention. After all, it is the matter of yourself. You may decide whether you refer to him as Yama or not, as you like". However, their talk seems to be strange somehow as well as their attitude. Just before, I had believed that they have the character. But, they now don't seem to have the character. They even look like, to have become marionette anymore. Since they have stayed in the hell for long, they must have gotten crazy. Or else, would this be Yama's handiwork? Anyhow, to talk with them is the waste of time. "The great Yama! I'm not dead!". I have shouted like that with the plaintive voice, looking up at the weirdly burning gruesome sky. However, when I notice suddenly, the dark is hiding all the phenomenons. The onis and the dead all had disappeared. And, I couldn't see the mountain full of the needles, and also the river of blood anymore. "Where is Yama?". I groped my way, straining my eyes in the dark. And, I, when walking for a little while, find out the whitish shadow like a person ahead of me. It probably seems to look whitish because it is fluorescing faintly. "That may be Yama!". I, when thinking so, approached the whitish shadow, hurrying. But, when I see, opening my eyes as wide as I can, the whitish shadow floating into the dark isn't Yama. Strangely enough, it was me to all appearances. I moved back in spite of oneself, feeling a chill in the back. However, when it looks at the shadow carefully, it doesn't look to be real existence. I stared at the whitish shadow who seems to be me, straining my eyes furthermore. And, I noticed that it is the appearance of me reflected in the big mirror. It seems the black lacquered frame of the mirror had hidden the existence of the mirror with melting into the dark. Because of that, the mirror looked like, to be a part of the space probably. So, it may be that I fell into the illusion that one's self who was reflected with the mirror is another self.
	However, on one hand, I can't think so strangely. "Is it the illusion really?". I had asked myself like that, before noticing. One's self who was reflected with the mirror is glaring at me, while giving off the weird atmosphere. So, I also stared back at one's self who got reflected with the mirror. It was because it thought one's self in the mirror may show the reaction of something. However, he is only staring at me, not changing his looks as before. We were staring at each other for long. And soon, I noticed that my recognition to one's self of the mirror started to change. The mirror is reflecting all my life, that is, all of my mind and behavior or other. Or else, it rather may be better to say that all my life had been inscribed into the mirror. Anyhow, I was looking at all my life into the mirror. However, the vision of myself I see into the mirror is different terribly from my understanding of myself. I by reflex action denied the vision the mirror shows. And, I started to look for into the mirror the evidence that my understanding of myself is right, while comparing the vision in question and my memory. However, it can't find into the mirror my life I think in. To my surprise, it is that all of my memory showed the mirror is reflecting the true self of mine. I stared at the mirror in the condition unable to accept the thing. However, it is obvious that I was defeated by the mirror. It feels terror to the mirror somehow. I turned my face away from the mirror in spite of oneself as if it dodges looking at the mirror. And, I turned my eyes to the frame of the mirror though it doesn't know why. And, it sees the characters like Chinese Characters there. However, it can't know what Chinese characters it is because the dark is deep. I, when approaching the mirror while feeling a fear, turned my eyes to its frame, straining my eyes. Just then, it can see the Chinese Characters which mean Yama which got inscribed there. When it notices suddenly, flames of hell were burning into the dark.
	Civilization and living body.				The dream like reality./Introduction."	The origin of Japanese culture.
Cotosiro Home