The fly in my home. --- The relationship between the troublesome fly and me. This is written in November 18, 2012. Noguti Hiromasa
			To tell the truth, I'm living together with one fly in this room for about four weeks. The kind is common fly probably though I don't know exactly. Apparently it seems to be about fifteen years old if it assumes he is a person, because he still is small and looks to be young. Needless to say, I don't give him a name and also don't intend to do so in future. This would be the natural decision because he is living in selfishly without my consent. In this opportunity, I think to tell you about the relationship of this fly and me.
	"What a non worthy talk !". By any chance you might say like that. But, the condition of my brain is so bad now. And though it doesn't know whether it is cause or not, I can't keep my vigor well now. In spite of that, I have too abundant free time now. Those are serious problems for me really. So I decided to talk the trifle like this. Well, now I can concentrate on nothing, it is I hadn't the thing possible to write besides this.
	I got aware of this fly in about the last week of October. In those days, I had free time so abundant that I don't know what to do in spite of being troubled with various uneasy things, as I'm so recently. So, it is hard to have good sleep. That day, when the clock indicates one o'clock midnight, it was that I could decide to sleep by force barely, as usual. Just then, something appears in front of my eyes suddenly and crosses. "What is this?" I tried to see something in question before noticing. When I found out it, it has black colored body and the transparent wings. It was obvious it is a fly. To my surprise, it is that an fly was flying in my cold house in the end of October.
	I had thought surely I had finished killing the flies who invaded into my home. But it seems it wasn't so in reality. I thought by reflex action to kill the fly. But, apparently the fly seems to be getting weak rapidly because of the cold season. He, after flying weak for a little while, clings to the wall and keeps on staying there without moving even slightly. When I see that sight, my mind it kill the fly got withered rapidly before knowing the clear reason. Anyhow, where did he come here from? By any chance, would he be the new fly having come in to my home from the outside? If not, would it be that the fly I, in my home, failed the killing of failed the hibernating because of the warm atmosphere having come for a little while and came out of his bed? Or else, would it be he failed the hibernating because of the test of my stove? Anyhow, when it sees the weakened fly, it seems to be possible to catch this fly with my hand. I tentatively reached for the poor fly to catch him. However, he was the wild fly surely in spite of looking to be weak. He isn't caught so easily. He dodged my hand easily and escaped to the other place with uncertain flying.
			However, it is certain he became weak considerably. He, after flying with uncertain move for several seconds, perches on the display of personal computer at once. It would be because the surface of the display is bright and is slightly warm. "This fly would die surely, soon even if I leave him as it is so.". I was caught to the easy thought like that while looking at him. And when after a few days, the coldness came again, this conjecture seemed to have become reality. The fly in question doesn't quite appear. "As I thought before, he must have died because of this cold weather." I, again easily thinking like that, have forgotten him.
	However, the life force a fly has is not to be made light of. The fly in question appeared again. In the beginning of November, I lit the stove at last because of this cold weather. So, the fly in question must have made revival. Anyhow, it was certain that the troublesome problems were brought again. Should I buy a insect cide? Or, should I use the adhesive tapes effective to insects? If not, it may be better to punch on a fly with my hand because it is easy and simple. However, he survived barely. By any chance, the thing may have the meaning of something. Should I kill him really? Or, should I leave him as it is so? My troubles became deeper than before. So I finally sentenced him to death and added the stay of execution without deciding time limit. In this, he can live for the moment. And I also could settle one trouble. But soon I noticed one troublesome problem is occurring. It is that the fly is active in a behavior more than before. This must be the warm air from the stove is acting as the gift probably.
			However, this fly likes to cling to my head though I don't know why. This behavior is strange a little, in spite of my washing the head everyday. He comes flying from somewhere one time per about thirty minutes and clings to my head hair before I notice. Needless to say, I drive him away at once, saying "Leave from me!". But he sneaks behind me again soon after that, or after around thirty minutes. And finally he even tries to go into my hairs becoming thin. Furthermore he makes one's wings vibrate hard and gives off the queer sound as if it struggles. And I at that time feel he is saying "Give me food!", though I don't know why.
	Needless to say, it isn't certain whether he said so really. And I'm not the man so kind that it gives him foods. "This fly's rude behavior is worth repealing the stay of execution, because he must be threatening me. I should give him the death". Whenever he clings to my head, I thought like that. However, I, always hesitating about giving him death, can do nothing finally. Maybe this relates to my feeling pity for him. But, when I think the thing now, the true reason of my hesitation was different from my mind like that a little. The fly is hated by everyone. However, he is one creature certainly. In other words, it would be I wanted the sign that there is a creature by me because I'm possessed to the poverty and am single. Even if something brings me some troubles, if it is a creature, it is possible I exchange information with him. The fly clings to my head, saying "Give me food!". And I drives him away, saying "Leave from me!". This is a kind of the information transmission certainly. In other words, in that meaning, the fly is different from a mere stone.
			Needless to say, it may not be impossible to accept an information, by any chance from a mere stone. But, the level of wisdom between a fly and a mere stone seems to be different considerably. The fly has a brain though it may be poor. If so, it seems to be better to converse together with a fly than conversing together with a mere stone. Well, in the reason like that, the fly in question is living in my home even now. But I don't know from where this fly is getting energy. However, doesn't it seem to be strange a little that the fly shows its existence in such cold season? By any chance, he may be the ghost of the fly that failed to go to Heaven.
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