The "dreams like reality". By Cotosiro. This is the revised edition having been translated from Japanese edition. February 7, 2004. This was rewritten a little in May 3, 2005. Since it doesn't know English well, it doesn't know whether the expression is proper.
		1. The voice.
	I don't know how long I have slept. It is that it took back the consciousness a little, with suddenly feeling a chill on the face. At that time, I still were in the process of waking. However, since my body feels heavy somehow, I still want to sleep. In spite of that, my consciousness kept on moving toward reality as if it is a bubble floating into the deep sea. So, I bent my body almost unconsciously, drawing up my legs, as if it resists the waking. It probably seems that it was because it felt the rugged touch and a chill wind strangely. Anyhow, I doesn't feel there is on the bed somehow. I suddenly opened the eyes, when turning over on my back. When it sees, a half moon is floating in the middle of bluish darkness. It was giving off mysterious pale light. When it notices suddenly, thickly growing silver grasses, weeds, and so on are waving slightly around me. I fell into strange feeling a little though it doesn't know why. Anyhow, it seems I had slept here before noticing. I tried to raise oneself for the moment. However, my body still feels heavy. So, for the moment, I looked around with only my eyes rolling. However, because of thickly growing weeds, the visibility is very poor. "As it thought, must I raise oneself?". I murmuring like that, bent upward slightly my neck for the moment. Just then, night dew on the silver grass hanging down over me drops toward me suddenly. But, I can't dodge because of the sudden drop. The night dew hit my forehead heartlessly. And, it started to move slowly along the brows at once and dropped to the ground from my forehead. However, where am I now? I can't remember at all why I had slept here, and what I were doing until I sleep here. I raised oneself slowly and peeped of the far sight from among the silver grasses and dense weeds. However, what a bleak sight it is! Dreary plain is spreading until as far as I can see. "Oh, I remembered, I had walked here for long". I continued to walk, without taking a meal, almost without sleeping ever since I went into this wasteland. So, It seems I fell down, losing consciousness. When noticing the thing, I suddenly felt lonely and felt hungry.
				The cause my body feels heavy must be this loneliness and hunger. "I can walk no longer. Must I die here?". But, I can not find out the answer because my consciousness is vague strangely. I gazed at the pale moon, looking up suddenly. Just then, certain memories float in my mind. It was that I once here fought with the demons who try to conceal the truth and also fought with the monstrous who try to lead me into nothingness. However, they are very strong. So, I as a time had to roam this wasteland to escape from them. However, it doesn't seem they gave up the looking for me, How long would I have to roam around this wasteland? I gazed at my hands for long, sitting down to the ground directly. Then, how long it was sitting there? I heard a whispering solemn voice on my ears when noticing suddenly. "Never give up! You never be loser if you don't say I am the loser.". Certainly the voice said like that. His words soak into my heart, deeply. It must be the weighty words. Is he a god? However, I don't know god at all in spite of knowing a demon and a devil and so on.
	So, I thought by reflex action a evil spirit of something is trying to deceive me again. But, would it be a evil spirit really? It can't feel devilish atmosphere as for the voice of question. Rather it feels the thoughtful undulation. If so, would it be a god as it thought? And, if it is a god, it want to see a god. I looked for a god, peeping at the surrounding dark suddenly. However, the moon is hidden by thick cloud before it notices. The dark is deep very much. I can't find out a god. And, it can't find out even one animal, to say nothing of one person. Desolate plain only is melting into the dark. "If so, is that voice only my fancy?" More times than three decades have passed since I went into this wasteland. However, I couldn't see even one insect here for long times. As it thought, it seems it is better to think the voice in question is my fancy. "It must be my lonely heart showed me the phantom like that. That is my fancy surely.". I thought like that at once.
	However, this place isn't real world. If so, it may be a voice can exist without the body. And, it may be the body exists without the spirit. If so, the meanings I received from that voice just before seem to exist obviously even if that voice is my fancy. If so, should I accept that the meanings in question are truth ? Or conversely, should I deny it, thinking it is false? Probably it seems that whether it is truth or falsehood depends on my choice. However, is there a good reward of something with walking more, obeying the voice's suggestion? The sense of tiredness obstinately coiling around me is tormenting me for long. The tiredness makes the mind weak. When I feel a void suddenly, temptation to nothingness started to catch me gradually. However, at that time, I again heard the voice in question fortunately. The voice says. "Listen! Don't ask the question like that. It is meaningless completely. It does nothing else but to make you waver. Realize the importance of the meaning you are living now!". Certainly these words seem to be trustworthy because it feels the undulation of the voice is solemn and thoughtful. However, unfortunately I couldn't understand the meanings of the words. "What? Why is the concern over the future meaningless? What do you mean? Who are you?". I asked him like that without thought. Just then, the unidentifiable spirit starts to speak something at once though it is god probably. But, it can't hear what it is saying. It was because suspicious wind drowns out the voice with blowing suddenly. However, why is god's voice weak? I don't know why. But, it is important that it now could hear the god's voice at last because it couldn't hear it for long until now. Would it be the effort it kept on doing for long wasn't a lost labor? I furthermore tried to listen to the holy voice, making my ears sensitive. However, the sudden wind becomes more terrible and torments me persistently. The terrible wind sound seemed to be monster's roaring. The atmosphere making me feel an evil spirit overpowers my five senses. As it thought, this storm must have been caused by an evil spirit. "An evil spirit is trying to lead me to not meet a god.". I judged like that at once. Until now, a god didn't help me whenever I ask god's help. Probably it seems I am in the situation like that also this time though it doesn't know why a god doesn't help me. If so, it has to leave from here at once. I started to run on the horrible plain in the wind, without saying even good-by to the god, forgetting the physical strength getting weak.
			If I keep exposing myself to this uncanny wind as it is, it must see a horrible phantom. And, it would be drawn into nothingness by an evil spirit of something. My intuition told me like that. It has to dodge the falling into nothingness at any cost, even if it dies. It is because nothingness is ultimate loneliness and is ultimate hell. Until now, I continued the travel with the careful behavior to not be found out by an evil spirit ever since I noticed there is the place full of demons. In spite of that, an evil spirit often found out me with the sharp eyed sense of smell and drove me out to a horrible world. And, it, while staring at me, told me "go into nothingness if you want to go out of this hell" in coaxing voice or with threat. However, it is obvious it is the horrible plan he set up. Now I am in the hell certainly. But, I can recognize at least this place is the hell because I am not in nothingness. It can't recognize peace if it can't recognize even hell. If it throws oneself into nothingness, it can't recognize even hell, to say nothing of peace because there isn't recognition into nothingness. I can't accept the world like that. It shouldn't be taken by the evil spirit's glib talk. It already was my belief.
	However, it seems an evil spirit again is trying to approach me with the horrible intent now. Now that the physical strength got weak, it is hard to fight with an evil spirit. I would lose recognition if I am caught to an evil spirit now. I have to escape from an evil spirit for the moment even if I die because of hunger. It already isn't the time it is defending tiny pride. However, to where should I escape? The storm is attacking me from every direction with horrible wind. I looked for the direction able to escape, while controling my impatient mind. Just then, it can see far a small mountain with the thickly growing trees is floating into the dark. It was the semicircular mountain covered by mysterious mist. "Oh, that is good!". I ran on the grassy plain toward the mountain, while moving by force my chilled legs and arms. However, the wind blows on me persistently as if it coils round me. And, a phantom vision often crosses my mind. Moreover, it often shows a evil spirit in front of my eyes, trying to stop my advancing. However, if I stop here because of a fear, the evil spirit would surely attack me, making the appearance in front of my eyes. "Run anyway!". I ran on the grassy plain desperately, rousing my mind apt to become weak. It is that it tore a phantom vision with the running and went through it. And, it rolled into the forest as if it is the hare being chased by a fox. When it looks around, it can see one hollow like a cave at a base of a big cedar. It looks to be convenient for hiding oneself. I rolled into the hollow at once to avoid the storm. Once the cold wind blew on the twigs and leaves, it brings the phantom vision of a evil spirit. And, countless leaves got torn off together with twigs, getting frozen in an instant. "Is this hollow safe really?" I would ice in a instant if that cold wind blows on this hollow directly. Doubts and anxiousness and fear keep on harming my heart. An evil spirit's roar heard often into the storm is making the atmosphere in the forest tremble. However, I don't know what to do. I held my knees with my arms, pushing oneself to the bottom of the hollow, and kept on only standing a fear.
	However, it is strange. In spite of the storm's attacking the forest with the wind looking to blow all, this hollow still is keeping the warm air. "Why is this?". I got bewildered terribly of this situation, witnessing the frozen forest. However, it is certain my being safe is fact though it can't understand at all. If so, my anxiousness seems to come from an unfounded doubt. By any chance, does it mean the storm is a mere phantom vision? Or, it may be an evil spirit and so on are nowhere. It may be that my mind feeling a fear created the phantom storm. But, as it thought before, this storm may be an evil spirit's handiwork. If so, would it be that I am safe because of the gift the good spirit living in this forest gave me? Anyhow, the storm like a devil seems to weaken gradually. And, the phantom vision looks to fade out as well. When it notices, the forest already is quiet. A good smell the trees give off permeated my mind. The tiredness and the feeling of relief produce the impulse to sleep for me as if it is Morpheus or other. I fell into the deep sleep, leaning on the side wall of the hollow.
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Cotosiro