The "dreams like reality". By Cotosiro. This is the revised edition having been translated from Japanese edition. February 7, 2004. This was rewritten a little in May 4, 2005. This was revised in February 8, 2009. Since it doesn't know English well, it doesn't know whether the expression is proper.
			4. Suspicious forest.
	I were in the middle of deep woods, when noticing suddenly. Darkness the night brings is obstructing me looking as if it is a black veil. "Where am I?" I put my head on one side in spite of oneself. However, it is in strange mood. From where did I come here? Why am I walking here? I can recall nothing. I looked about for the surrounding sight with often turning up my eyes, feeling a fear because of the deep darkness. Apparently, this place looks to be the familiar woods. However, it had given off the atmosphere different from usual a little, with having gloomy mist. This situation is strange somehow. I again looked around. However, the relationship in between my memory and the surrounding sight is vague though it doesn't know why. By any chance, had I strayed into the other woods, before noticing? Suddenly, I imagined like that. But, is it so really? Though it doesn't know why, it seems it isn't so somehow. I sank oneself into the thinking for a little while. However, I can't decide whether this forest is the familiar woods or not. When noticing, I had walked with me understanding nothing but while feeling a vague fear.
	TThe dark is forcing me to walk more quickly. I kept on only walking, relying on a little moonlight that comes into the woods. However, the sight surrounding me is strange. It was because many parts of the woods are to already be changing to the pastureland and the rice fields or other. The thing is almost certain because it is that I cut down the trees and cultivated the soil. If so, from when, why had this forest been thick like this? By any chance, as it thought before, is it that I am in the other forest? I again sank oneself into the thinking. But, it can know nothing. "Anyway, keep calm!". I, when admonishing myself like that, suddenly stopped walking. And, it looked for some clue into the deep dark. Just then, it can see one tree into the familiar sight. It was the oak I didn't cut to use as the mark in measurement. If so, as it thought before, this must be the forest the good spirit in question governs on. I, feeling easy a little, started to walk toward the direction of the area my residence would be standing on. However, the problem isn't solved yet. It can't understand why did the trees in the woods grow thickly like this rapidly. Anyhow, my dear land looked like, to have returned to the situation it once was the deep forest. "An evil spirit must have cast the devilish spell on the trees, invading in here. So, surely, the trees grew rapidly!". I believed like that without the clear evidence. However, the condition of the woods is too rough. "Why does the good spirit do nothing?". While feeling dissatisfied with him, I paid attention to the surrounding sight furthermore, walking slowly. Probably, it seems I were looking for the sign of the good spirit at that time. However, it feels nothing as for the sign like that. Rather it feels even a weird atmosphere because of the situation a wind doesn't blow at all. And, the thickly growing twigs and also ivies, hanging down over me, often obstructed my walking. Anyhow, it is certain the suspicious change started to occur here. I furthermore kept on walking, while paying an attention on the surrounding sight. When I turns the eyes to my feet, unfamiliar weeds, growing thickly are covering the road to lead me. This also must be an evil spirit's handiwork. It was certain he is obstructing my walking, trying to lead me to the nothingness. Just then, strange dream in question I saw last night crossed my mind. By any chance, it may be that the miserable appearance of dying looking spirit was the warning for me. Or else, would it be that the good spirit is dying because of an evil spirit's attack really? I feel a fear somehow. I again looked for him, opening my eyes as wide as I can.
			However, if it thinks in calm, it seems it is better to doubt whether he appears. It is because it is supposed he got angry because of my behavior though it is only the behavior the dream showed. In spite of that, I kept on looking for him. It is that I were frightened so terrible because of the weird change of the woods. From the first, it almost was impossible I find out him because it is rare he appears even in the usual situation. Soon, I gave up the looking for him, noticing the thing narrowly. Instead, I started to look for the road leading to my home. However, weird trees growing thickly more than before obstruct my looking together with the deep dark.
	The moonlight having been cast on the woods was only making a few trees float in the dark a little, becoming several beams narrowly with often being blocked by trees. The moonlight were reflecting in the ground narrowly faintly, just before. However, it doesn't arrive at even the undergrowth now, to say nothing of the ground. When it looks up at night sky, it could only see the twigs reflecting moonlight near the treetops. It is the sight like the place full of demons that a black veil covers all. I kept on walking forward aimlessly in the middle of the dark horrible like that. When it walks for a little while, it can see through ferns and shrub several faint light floating into the dark near the ground. It is a mysterious sight very much. However, what light is it? I walked toward the faint light from curiosity. Thereupon, when it sees, surface of the fallen rotten trees are fluorescing in places. Apparently, the cause of the fluorescence is the unfamiliar moss growing on decay tree. Because of that fluorescence, the ferns growing by the side of fallen trees became silhouette, were floating into the dark sight as if it, like is a shadow picture. However, the silhouette of ferns is producing the strange sight, being surrounded by the pale outline reflecting faintly the fluorescence. What a beautiful sight it is! I were viewing the strange sight, standing there for a little while when stopping the walking in spite of oneself. However, it can't feel an energy of life from that sight. Rather it is the terribly cold sight making a person feel inorganic matter. I had felt this sight is expressing the silence of death. "Did the good spirit die really?". I had murmured like that before noticing. Just then, that murmur of mine causes a inexpressible uneasiness, making my heart waver. I again started to walk forward aimlessly, feeling a fear of shadow of an evil spirit. And, when it takes back a calm soon, it started to think about the present situation.
	The forest the good spirit governed on is becoming the land producing the wealth, losing many of the trees now. However, the woods I am walking now are terribly thick. It is strange the trees grow thickly in this short time, even if an evil spirit cast a spell on the woods. But, it also is hard to assert there is no possibility like that. I sank oneself into the thinking furthermore. I had given my gaining the wealth a priority over all, ignoring even the good spirit. So, it may be that the woods became terribly rough like this. The soul ignored becomes weak. So, it may be that the woods became rough with an evil spirit's invading this holy land. If so, as it thought before, I can't but think the good spirit went away.
			Anyhow, it was certain this once was the forest the good spirit governs on. However, it is about to become the place full of demons now. If so, the wealth I accumulated, spending long time would be lost, soon. Or, it may have disappeared any more. The peaceful life also would be nowhere. "How silly I am! Was the game up anymore?". I got possessed to the despair. However, it is impossible a person keeps on living together with a despair. It needs a hope for the life, even if it is as a phantom vision or a delusion. I had pushed one's rational mind into the bottom of the heart before noticing. "I got lost. So, I must have stepped into woods full of demons, before noticing. The forest the good spirit governs on is somewhere still safely, surely.". I told oneself to think so with the convenient interpretation.
	However, I take back the rational mind, soon though it doesn't know whether it is fortunate or unfortunate. Now, I think it is possible the bigoted belief makes a person vigorous for a little while. But, it never be medicine for maintaining the mental health. It can assert its effect is like a narcotic. In other words, it takes away the mind from a person. Nobody can erase a fact even if the bigoted belief is strong very much. A fact always was fact persistently at least for me. "The good spirit must have died. By any chance, it may be that my mind not respecting him killed him. In that, the woods became rough probably. It may be that I am caught to an evil spirit, soon.". However, I don't know what to do. I only fell into the confusion. But, a confused mind often is the entrance to the hell. I, while trying to keep the rational mind, kept on thinking what to do. However, If the good spirit had died actually, it seems the woods already are the place full of demons. An evil spirit can attack me whenever probably. If so, there isn't the spare time it is thinking for long. It should at once search for the road for escaping. Thereupon, I again paid attention to the dark woods to find the direction to go toward. However, everywhere of the woods already is being filled with an weird atmosphere an evil spirit gives off. The woods had been governed by devilish spirit completely. If so, it is hard considerably to finish escaping. "Must I again fight with an evil spirit in here?". Certainly I once fought with an evil spirit in a various place. And, it could block an evil spirit narrowly though it couldn't gain win. However, since I had spent the peaceful times ever since I came into this place, I had forgotten the way of fighting. Rather it may be better to say it had lost the vigor for fighting. Anyhow, I had lost the confidence for fighting. Anyway I now has to find out the proper spot I hide oneself into for the moment. When looking back suddenly, I, while paying attention to the surrounding sight, started to walk toward converse of the direction I walked on until now.
	However, the dark becomes deep increasingly. It is hard to find out even the oak I once regarded as the mark to measure distance or other. Anyhow, the woods had become rough more than before though it doesn't know whether it is because an evil spirit invaded or not. It can't go forward anymore, and also can't return as well. When noticing the thing, I stopped walking at once. It seems the fluorescence the moss thick growing on the decay trees gives off is sneering at me. By any chance, would it be the sign that the trees with uncanny looks attack me, changing to horrible monsters? I suddenly were caught to the impulse to run away.
	However, it seems it falls into a muddy bog deep increasingly if it runs carelessly. It has to take back the calm. I, when finding out the not weird big tree like cedar, sat down by the side of the base of that tree for the moment. However, where am I? How did I come here? I can recall nothing. Is it impossible to escape from this situation any more? If so, it can't but fight with an evil spirit. At that time, I thought so for the moment. But, my decision like that is lost at once. It may be because I had forgotten the good spirit with being possessed to the worldly desires too much. I held my head in my arms in spite of oneself. Just then, image of the dying looking spirit flashes through my mind. I can't forget his thin body and also his hatred-filled eyes. "Did he die really?". I again were caught to the doubt like that. However, when it thinks in calm, it is strange the spirit not having the flesh dies. It seems the good spirit still is living, somehow. He must have deserted me together with this land. It may be that he handed me and this land to an evil spirit. I regretted having neglected him. However, now that thing has come to this pass, the repentance is helpless to change the present situation anymore probably. I suddenly looked up at the heavens, trying to change the pessimistic mood. Just then, air surrounding me moved slightly. I got tense for a instant, thinking an evil spirit appeared. However, when paying attention, it feels nothing of weird air. But, it felt the air flowing from somewhere a little. Or, it may be mere light wind. However, it couldn't think it is so at once. It is that it felt it is strange the atmosphere having been keeping silence until now moved suddenly even if it was slight. I suddenly turned my eyes to the windward. It can see one old big tree is floating hazily into the dark in that direction. When it looks at that tree with opening the eyes wide, it could see the big hollow in the base of the tree. Though it doesn't know why, it feels that sight familiar. I started to walk toward the big tree, as if it is drawn to the hollow. When it sees, weeds in front of the hollow often wave toward me slightly. However, strangely, the weeds in its right and left don't almost wave. That certainly was the evidence the air is flowing out of the hollow.
			If so, this hollow may be the entrance of tunnel leading to somewhere. "Should I go in?". I wavered for a instant how to do. However, I am approaching the hollow furthermore, when noticing. And, I noticed this hollow is the hollow once having rescued me. "Oh, the good spirit still is living! He is trying to rescue me again! Thank you. Thank you very much!". I gazed at the hollow in tear because of the unexpected sign of rescue. However, it is certain the good spirit is becoming weak if it observes the horrible aspect of the woods. As it thought before, my silly behavior lacking the thought must have made the good spirit weak. I got tormented, feeling the regret and the sin. However, now, it isn't the time it sinks oneself into the regret. It is certain this hollow is swallowed by the devilish atmosphere, soon.
	By any chance, the woods already may be about to be possessed to an evil spirit. I paid attention to the smell of the hollow tentatively. Fortunately, the hollow still is giving off the smell characteristic of the holy woods a little. And, it was the scent it first smelled, coming here. However, although I neglected him that coldly, what a tolerant spirit he is! I, when bowing in gratitude and joining my hands in prayer, went into the hollow, hurrying. But, it is strange. The tunnel I expected is nowhere. The hollow is only mere hollow. Why is this? When I looks back in bewilderment, mouth of the hollow has moved weirdly. "Oh, I get shut". When I try to go out, hurrying, mouth of the hollow has shut rapidly. Before noticing, I had gotten shut into the dark. When it notices, the atmosphere in the hollow is vibrating slightly. And, when the hollow gets resonant with the vibration, the resonant sound changed to horrible voice, soon. "You are silly, didn't I say I don't allow you?". It is the voice so horrible that it doesn't seem it is the good spirit's voice. "Did an evil spirit pretend the good spirit?". I fell into the illusion like that for a instant. However, the fact doesn't seem to be so. It must be that the good spirit had planned a revenge on me. I got caught to the feelings of despair suddenly. Certainly it may be natural that he tries the revenge on me. However, isn't it too terrible act for me repenting my sin? "Allow me! Please help me!". I, when shouting like that with the hoarse voice, banged on the wall of the shut hollow, desperately. However, this desperate situation is different from the dream it saw one day. Although it bangs on the wall of the hollow many times, the wall doesn't break at all. Instead, sudden laughter horrible froze me. The dark vibrates increasingly hard. And, when the vibration stops suddenly, bottom of the hollow collapsed suddenly. I feel I fall. When it notices, I had been thrown into the pitch-dark space.
	It can see nothing anymore though it tries to look at the surrounding sight through the dark desperately. Do I keep falling until reaching where? Do I die, torn to pieces with colliding with the bottom of hell? My heart got filled with the fear and also the cold. My shout asking for a rescue is resonant with the pitch-dark space. However, the speed I fall was increasing acceleratedly. I don't know what to do. I kept on only falling. And, I hear the horrible voice far over my head. "You are silly. Why did you forget spirit? Your reckless behavior changed me to the demon. You must fall into the hell. Realize one's sin there!". And, feelings of anger he gives off attacked my brain, passing through the dark space. It is, like, a thunder. I felt terrible pain with the brain, and lost consciousness.
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Cotosiro