The true character of Cotosiro. And, my reality which may be the delusion. In Justnet at February 6, 2001. In Nyfty At November, 2003. Moreover, it was rewritten a little in April 16, 2004. This was rewritten a little in April 30, 2005.
	Recently, my brain is getting tired terribly. By any chance, I may have been caught to the psychotic depression a little. However, it may be the unfounded suspicion because it seems it is hard to perceive one's condition, though it is possible to perceive the future of others if it is a little. But, it is anxious a little. I, because of my senility, may forget soon who is me if I don't speak about the true character of Cotosiro, that is, my true character now. Furthermore, it seems my strained back becomes terrible increasingly. By any chance, must I die, getting weak like that and noticed by nobody ? And, if it comes true, I'm too miserable. This must be the devils' plot surely. I have nothing but Cotosiro. And, it is nothing else but to be the cause making me exist. So, I, though diffident and indecisive, have decided to speak about the true character of Cotosiro, summoning up my courage in possible range. However, the few visitors to my home page may feel it was betrayed about the expectancy probably because I'm common person rather poor and not so clever. But, the truth is nothing else but to be the truth. So, it thinks to not smooth over that in possible range. However, before stating the thing of Cotosiro, it has to tell why my pen name is Cotosiro. It is because it is related to the incentive I think about the world. Already the incentive like that were stated into the opening part in "the myth of the shade".
			And, while continuing to think about the world or other under the incentive like that, I saw the strange visions like reality, especially at its first term frequently. But, to tell the truth, these all may be the obvious dreams if it sees it objectively. However, for me, even if it says it is reality itself, it never be exaggeration. Moreover, since beginning to see the visions like that, for several years, strangely these visions came true one after another. So, I, unable to understand it, fell into the horrific confusion though it was my precognition certainly. Yes, I had noticed it is the precognition at that time though it may be unconsciously. But, my precognition was showing too horrible scene.
	So, it seems that my consciousness, trying to deny the vision like that, fell into the confusion. This never be a lie upon my honor. But, there may be persons doubting the statements like that, thinking that I am possessed to the madness or other. However, since it is that those statements are stated by the honest and normal person, that is, me, it would have to be trusted anyhow. However, why would the strange visions like that come from where ? By any chance, would it only be the logical conclusion from my thinking ? Or, would it be the warning from gods or other souls ? At any rate, the terrifying visions were shown for about ten years since then it started to appear. And, I trembled with inexpressible fear, feeling by intuition that these visions come true certainly whenever the visions like that appear. Of course, at that time, my mind was in the different state from the usual condition a little. And, I had held the self-awareness like that, though it was necessary that it makes efforts a little. But, even if it is the perception occurring under the unusual condition, it isn't always mistake. In other words, there is the case it can understand the meaning of the vision properly, perceiving why the vision was shown.
	Of course, in this case, it is necessary that the perception like that keeps the consistency for the fact. In other words, the perception occurring under the unusual condition always should be examined in the subjective world view having the consistency. And, it seems it is needless to say that the subjective world view like that is the origin of the true intuition. Therefore, nobody can understand the vision like reality if the true intuition doesn't function. As for the detail, it may be stated if it can find out the chance sometime.
	At any rate, it is certain I were tormented by the horrible imminent feeling at that time because of the uncanny visions like that. And, I also thought it have to send the people the warning with understanding the meaning of the visions properly. However, such a action will lead me to the dangerous situation probably. By any chance, I may be locked into the mental hospital, and so on if it dare to say the true things. Or, I, judged to be the dangerous person by the certain persons, may be buried into the bottom of society though it already may be in the situation like that. Anyhow, it felt fear about the thing terribly at that time. Therefore, I thought to confine these visions to the bottom of my mind in the possible range. In other words, leaving the warning, it thought it shouldn't issue these visions, making it secret. However, the uncanny visions appear together with the actual feeling as before. Then, something leads me to the guilty feeling incessantly, oozing out of the depths of my mind though it doesn't know why. But, If it thinks to send the warning to people, it seems it has to issue the visions shown to me. "Should it issue it or shouldn't it ?" My mind wavers because of the doubts like that frequently. And, would it have come out of the mental condition like that ? At the midnight of one day, I woke up suddenly, feeling the sign of someone when it was into the deep sleep. However, its sight is very strange. Only the face of someone had floated to the darkness close to the ceiling, while staring at me with quiet attitude as if it is the observer or other. But, it doesn't make me feel the fear at all. Rather, his chiseled looks gave me even the solemn impression. But, who is it ? I again turned my eyes to him, trying to ask his name in spite of oneself. However, he isn't there any more. He had disappeared, telling me nothing. So, I woke up again, taken aback. As you thought, it is that it was into the dream until then. And, I also thought like that after waking up at that time.
			However, contrary to the consciousness like that, it feels the solemn face was the actual existence. It must have come here to make me issue those visions. At least its moment, it seemed it is sure fact. By any chance, the truths given to me may have been brought from him as the means to issue the visions like that. At least I at that time thought like that. Therefore, please don't try to steal my ideas. If not, it would lead you to the hell, calling up gods' horrific anger and deep-rooted curse secretly. This is the truth doubtlessly, not as the joke. Well, since the talk has wandered a little, it returns to the main theme, finishing this delusion though by any chance, it may not be the delusion.
	By the way, it is known well there are the many things different from the physical existence in this world. And, the subjectively perceived object is one of such things. In this case, even if it is the physical existence, if it is seen from the subjective point of view, it can't assert that it always is perceived as the physical existence itself. However, it never be the illusion at least for the said person if that perception holds the consistency with his world view and objective truth. In other words, it can't assert that the objective existence are the only actual existence. Therefore, even if it is the ghost, if it has the logical consistency for the actual world and doesn't contradict the scientific truth, it seems it has to think it is the actual existence. Since the visions shown to me from the unknown chaos came true one after another, it seems this conjecture is proper. And, in those days, I could find out the method able to express the strange visions without being sent to the mental hospital. Thereupon, in spite of the poor writer, I took up my pen though it hesitated a little. In other words, I thought to write those visions as the story, constructing the logical theory able to explain my precognition. And, the leading character of this story was decided with the natural course. It is the Japanese god called Coto-siro-nusi, that is, Coto-siro-nusi-nho-mikoto.
	In the Japan, it is said the words have soul. Especially the ancient people were believing like that firmly, though it is called the coto-dama, that is, the souls of words. And, Coto-siro-nusi is the god handling the coto-dama like that very well and is the god of the ground side belonging to the family of the Izumo. In other words, since it is the deification of the shaman able to hear god's voice, it seems to be the god who governs the ground with the ability of prayer. So, I adopted Cotosiro as my pen name. It was natural course for me because it seems it was possessed to him because of some reason or other.
	The short explanation about the "Coto-siro-nusi-nho-mikoto". The "coto" means the gods' words in this case. And, the "siro" is the verb, is the honorific language meaning the knowing or the governing. Moreover, in this case, it seems it includes the meaning that makes everybody notice something. Then, the "nusi" means the ruler or the owner and so on. And, the "nho" is a postpositional particle, roughly is the same meaning as the [of] of English language. In passing, the "mikoto" is the noun meaning the kunitu-kami, that is, gods and goddesses living on the ground. The reference page about Japanese myth or culture. (But, it includes my original thinking.) The origin of Japanese culture. (Since it was transferred from Justnet to Nifty, it was revised as the above. December 10, 2003. ) However, I already am the common person now. The strange visions and the ghosts, and so on don't appear at all. Therefore, it seems the phenomenon supposed to occur from now is decided by the people's behavior. It is because I finished stating almost my warning. At any rate, it seems the future world falls into the terrible circumstances because my warning is in the condition ignored.
			Would it be because it was the too late warning because of my poor ability ? Or, it may be because nobody notices my warning. If so, would my effort continued for long time have what meaning ? I can't understand at all. To tell the truth, I can't explain the truths given to me, even about its half because of my faint brain. In that reason, it seems the world almost hasn't been improved for me and also for other people probably. If so really, it seems the truths given to me are meaningless at all. But, if so, why would I have seen the strange visions like that ? Or, would such statements itself be the delusion from my psychotic depression ?
	Now is 2001 year. I will be 54 years old at this August probably. It is living in Sapporo of the Japan, is the single for a long time because of my timidity and terrible poverty. But, I have nothing of the unusual interest besides the delusion, though it may be having the twisted mind a little because it is the poverty for long time. In passing, I am engaging in the works like the peddler. Then, since I, possessed by the incarnation of the poverty, can't escape from him, my livelihood is keeping falling into the harsh situation increasingly. In passing, the incarnation of poverty is called the god of the poverty in the Japan. Therefore, someone, please give me some money. Well ! Probably this is as the joke, but it may be the real intention ? Anyhow, it is certain I am in the harsh situation. By any chance, would it be that I were the mere dream's puppet ? Or, would it be that the similarity between those visions and the facts was the mere coincidence ? But, as for me, it can't think like that. By the way, even if it say now is like the Heian period, it never be the exaggeration, if it considers the present situation of Japan. Today, the rich persons like peerage, while anxious about the horrible and miserable sight of the streets, are growing rich increasingly. And conversely, the poor people to put the curse on the heartless world are growing poor increasingly though I'm one of them, too. Please look at the streets ! Uncanny demons and hungry ghosts and unidentifiable evil spirits and so on are oozing out from everywhere one after another. And, you will see they are trying to trap the people into the mental confusion and the hell of this world if you have the same ability as me. Anyhow, it is certain the physical environment and the mental environment and the social environment and so on are inviting these demons and so on now. Needless to say, it means our society is falling into the evil mental condition continuously. Therefore, it seems it is difficult that the society like that gains the proper recognition, if someone with true wisdom doesn't lead the people.
	The Heian period roughly is from the end of the 8th Century till the end of the 12th Century. In those days, the peerage called the Fujiwara clan, acquiring the real power, was governing the Japanese state under the ostensible reason that it assists the Emperor of the Japan. And, the peerages were enjoying the rich living very elegantly, while holding the anxiousness about the ruin of this world. However, it is clear the cause of such anxiousness was born by peerages' selfish behavior. In other words, the detestable sight of streets was caused by the terribly poor politics.
	Anyhow, whether good or bad, the Heian period was the time only the peerage prospered extremely in the physical and economical viewpoint. However, conversely the lives of the common people were filled by the poverty, the hunger and the death and so on because of the poor politics and the mugger or other. It is that the peerages, viewing such social state and doing nothing to do, only felt the close for the world. This fact is exposing the human ignorance and shallow mind to the light of day. We would have to think about the thing carefully. By the way, when persons try to judge about something with only oneself, it often thinks the farfetched interpretation to be logical because of the immature subjective recognition. And, as a time, it thinks the demon's whisper to be the epiphany from the intuition. It is because the narrow mind caught by the various desire and by fear and so on causes the mistaken judgement like that. In other words, it is that is hard it perceives one's mental condition if it can't observe oneself properly. It probably is because the mental exchange is lacking for the said person. It is the lack of mental harmonization having to be between others and oneself. And, the mental harmonization like that is born of the proper information exchange. Of course, the lack of mental harmonization is related to not only the social condition but also the said person's ability and mental condition. It is because knowing others is also knowing oneself though the converse case also is truth. But, doing so is difficult not only for me but also for many persons. Therefore, it seems the mental advice from others or from gods and goddesses and so on is necessary. In other words, it seems the proper information from the various things is necessary for us. However, the careful judgement is also necessary against the information like that because the devils are very cunning. It is because it, caught by the evil desire and the jealousy and so on because of the immature mind, may distort the gods' words. Or, it is because it may mistake devils for gods and goddesses. Furthermore, it is because it may do the behavior under the pretext of the justice for the devils. Japan may fall into the horrible state if the people don't notice the thing though it doesn't want to regard the present detestable aspect of Japan as the historical natural course.
			By the way, it still isn't stating the truths difficult to explain some. However, it has gotten sick of stating more. Or, it may be because it has grown tired of doing the logical explanation because of my senile brain. Oh, it has wandered of speech a little before noticing. Since recently, it is unstable a little mentally, please forgive it. Therefore, it may have to be stood for a while or everlastingly that I speak more than now. It is because it seems that it is hard it keeps the logical consistency.
		However, the silence like that may be torn if Cotosiro gives off the anger. I am feeling like that now though it doesn't know why. But, it isn't so clear. Therefore, or, it may be the true delusion. At any rate, it seems that only the gods and goddesses are knowing it. By the way, Cotosiro's real name is called Hiromasa Noguti at this world.
 
Cotosiro