However, I don't know what to do now. Hiromasa Noguti October 10, 2008.
		This was written in Japanese at October 7, 2008, and was translated into English at November 12, 2008.
	I reached my 62nd birthday in August this year. But, my mind is considerably young probably. Rather it may be better to say it is so immature. On the other hand, my physical strength acceleratedly keeps on degenerating together with the ability of thinking. Moreover, this year, I am not good mood somehow. So, it can't keep the will about even the trying of simple thing. Well, I can accept as for the degeneration of my physical strength and also of the ability of thinking because the aging is the cause probably. However, as for the degeneration of my will, it seems to be abnormal a little. So, it is hard to accept this degeneration so easily. Probably my heart seems to have become weak because of my father's death and also because of the tiredness coming from the having cared for the father, or because of the other troubles. I am bewildered about the degeneration of my will because I as a time feel the tiredness even about taking a meal. As it thought, it seems the deep cause is the pressure coming from the kept poverty or other trouble for long. It must be that the pressure like that kept on hurting my heart for long as if it is body blow, before I notice. To tell the truth, I decided to do certain challenge about twenty years ago though it may be beyond my ability. And, I kept on concentrating my consciousness on this task though it knew that it suffers poverty or other troubles with keeping doing this task. However, This task was difficult more than my conjecture. So, I fought with despair many times. It seems the thing also made me accumulate mental tiredness.
	However, when my father was living, I still could keep motivation to do work or other. It probably seems it is because it was tense because of the caring for the father. Of course, I slightly thought I may fall into the mental state like this when my father passed away. However, at that time, I hadn't thought I fall into the state as terrible as this at all. It is because the human relations between me and the father wasn't so good before I care for the father. I for long were wanting the father to recognize my humanity and the value of mine. However, it thinks the wish like that wasn't fulfilled at last. Because of the thing, it would be that the father's death was the terrible shock for me.
	Well, it is trying to change the bad mental conditions like that somehow. However, because of the poverty and chronic injury or other obstacles, it doesn't go well. Of course, the liquor is effective for the making mind easy. But, whenever I begin to drink, I can't stop the drinking, so easily because of my peaceful and fluttered personality, because it blows my mind too much. It is bad for me especially in money. So, about fifteen years ago, I stopped my drinking. And, until now, I am keeping it. Therefore, at present, it only can try to forget the bad situations narrowly with the smoking. For the poor person like me it is hard to get rid of the stress at the present society though it doesn't know the situation of rich man. It may be natural that the uncanny crimes hard to understand keep on increasing together with the heartless or impulsive persons recently. But, it is natural that I don't commit the crime like that. It is because the god carries away my accumulated stress somewhere, and solves my trouble. Or else, it may be that my ikiryo(a soul out of a living person) goes out of my body, gives somebody my curse to solve my hatred. Oh, don't dread me like that. Of course, it is as the joke. However, consider my circumstances. Don't you think it never be strange even if the delusion like that crosses my mind? I in former days could jog for the change. But, I now can't do the thing like that because of my bad conditions. Well, for the moment I know I have to accept this.
			Therefore, recently I decided to go astray to do the right deed. In other words, I am thinking to live an honest and pure life, not doing evil as much as I can. And, it thinks to show my ironical expression for the present society with my miserable life like that. How do you think about it? Don't you think I go considerably astray? However, I hope you don't imitate my lifestyle though it thinks nobody does try to do the foolish thing like that. Perhaps, it is because the justice I think is based on a narrow mind. If there is the person like me, it is certain he gets driven away into the terrible life. It is bad in various meaning that it is caught to the narrow justice.
	However, recently, the narrow justice and shallow opinions are spreading considerably. But, it can assert that the justice like that and also opinions are one-sided truth, are shortsighted truth, are only the truth to be seen into beaker. However, many persons understand it as universal truth, ignoring the conditions for keeping the truth like that. And, the people try to make the narrow justice materialize at this society. However, it should understand there is strong possibility the materialization of the justice like that conceal the true social problem. Rather, it may be better to say the simple behavior like that grows the various social problems increasingly. It has to think truth that each society, as creature is so, is kept by the ecosystem each society has. However, it seems it is rare the thing is considered especially recently. Would it be a shallow brain produces nothing else but shallow justice? And, would it be that the society falls into the confusion increasingly because of the thing? But, it seems the persons noticing the thing aren't so many. Of course, my brain also is rather shallow. However, I know the thing enough. In that viewpoint, it would be I am at least better than the persons who think the shallow justice and narrow opinions are proper under any conditions. Anyhow, it can assert that as far as it is caught to the narrow justice and shallow opinion, it can't solve the social serious problem everlastingly. Rather it may be better to say that the behavior like that is used for keeping the social evil with turning people's eyes away from the serious social problem and getting rid of frustration. Anyhow, we each are different from each in various meaning. It can accept certain justice though it can't accept certain justice. Or, it can accept certain opinion though it can't accept certain opinion. A person's choice about those is influenced like that by his personality and his social footing and his emotion and so on. Wouldn't it be it can gain the true solution about social problem with sublating the difference like that ? The shallow opinion and narrow justice is harm for the society. We must see the situation that even the materialization of narrow justice about a trifle makes the society degenerate if the materialization like that keeps on gathering.
	Actually the thing like that including economical problem happened many times historically. There often is the case that the opinions in shallow viewpoint and narrow justice are same as the solution of the stress seen in witch-hunt for the people insisting on the justice like that or the opinion. Moreover, there is even the case that it relates to certain benefit for the persons like that. It is natural that the situation like that brings many persons tragic result and unhappiness. However, how does the economical situation in the world change? I feel a fear. Anyhow, it can assert that the present economical crisis happened because the rich people became feebleminded with his strong worldly desire. If I don't recover from the present situation, the economic bad situation also doesn't recover. Suddenly the delusion like that crossed my mind now. However, it seems this causation perhaps should be converse originally if it follows usual viewpoint. Would it be my brain is in the dangerous condition?
	By the way, I have kept on writing into this homepage my world view and also social problem and academic opinions. Those opinions all are based on my worldview. As a time, it wrote the revelation in dream with using the pretext that it is a delusion. However, it isn't that it wrote all. And, as for the worldview and academic and social opinions, it isn't complete yet. However, because of various circumstances as it stated in the above, it came to be hard to keep writing. And, the society now is showing the horrible spectacle as I gave the society the warning though nobody noticed those warnings. I am lonely and sad terribly now. But, I don't think the time I spent until now was useless. Anyhow, it seems it is hard to write new comment because of my bad condition. If my mental and physical condition doesn't recover, it may erase my homepage.
	I had tried to keep my policy that it doesn't write the personal feelings as long as possible until it writes this comment. However, I am keeping my homepage already for about ten years. Therefore, Heaven wouldn't punish me for the thing probably.
			October 10, 2008.
						To a few readers from a small stone in roadside.
Cotosiro. To Japanese page.