To old edition.
			The dream like reality.         The former English revised edition was revised like this in November 2, 2013. Hiromasa Noguti.
			3. The dying good fairy.
	When it notices suddenly, over ten years had passed since I started to live in this forest. But, it isn't that I had thought from the first that I'm here for long like this. I rather had thought to go out of this forest at once if my physical and mental tiredness was cured. It is because the staying at this forest was a part of my long travel persistently. However, in here, there wasn't the thing that I was troubled by evil spirits and monsters or other. In other words, as far as I am here, I can spend days comfortable. So, although it isn't that it was consciously, it is that I stayed at this fine forest for long, hesitating to go out of here. "It may be better to live here all my life". As a matter of fact, I had often fallen into the mood like that. Certainly, it would be possible to find some truths furthermore if it goes into the wasteland. But, what does it bring me? It may be that I'm only troubled by evil spirits or other. If so, it would be meaningless to look for truth as the ghost having appeared in the dream I saw in the hollow told me. The troubles an evil spirit or a monster bring are too harsh every time. In spite of that, the truth I found out didn't make me strong. And, it didn't bring me even some gains. Instead, it is that those truths always forced me to continue the more hard travel. "It is hard to select the life like that anymore". My real mind was like that. To tell the truth, I was for long troubling oneself because of the situation that the vision about the blond mole or ghost often crosses my mind, after several years since I started to live in here. The mole and ghost the vision in question shows look to be same as one's self who was traveling in the wasteland. I had felt that the result of the travel to look for the truth is symbolized with the vision in question. So, whenever that vision crosses my mind, I was often murmuring "I don't want to be like that". So, I before noticing had come to think "I will stop looking for truth, because sunlight is shining enough here" though it can't recollect when it thought so. And, although it may be that the thinking like that influenced my mental condition, I came to be often caught to the worldly desire since then. Furthermore, although it was rare so much I feel a hunger until that, I had come to have the appetite so strong that it seems to be abnormal. So, I often were bothered by the sense of hunger. This is the situation I never have experienced until that time. So, in those days I used to be bewildered terribly every time I feel the abnormal hunger. However, if it thinks about such a appetite deeply, the creature called human being living in the real world is the existence feeling a hunger almost anytime originally. If so, it seems it needn't bother oneself about the sense of hunger like that. By any chance, it may be that I should accept this abnormal appetite. However why did I become such a worldly man suddenly? "By any chance, is it because I returned to the real world before noticing? Probably it is so.". I got caught to the thought like that for a moment. However, it was my illusion probably. It is that I deceived myself with the sophistry like that, trying to justify my strange change unconsciously.
			Needless to say, I'm not a man so shallow that it is deceived by such a lie. To all appearances, it is the fact that this forest isn't in the real world. Actually the phenomenons which aren't to occur in the real world occur in this forest frequently as if it is usual things. And, when I looks down across the woods through the trees with standing on the hill, weeds and silver grasses growing thickly on the wasteland are waving hard in the rolling cold wind. Furthermore, I into that sight glimpsed the evil spirits and the monsters eating each other in disgraceful behavior as a time. As it thought before, this isn't real world. And, it isn't not only next world but also imaginary world. As a matter of fact, the world I'm in was the real existence not real world appearing as the subjective sight. Probably the people named the world like that the psychic world. If so, why do I feel hunger here? However, it can't find out the answer strangely. Since I had believed it can find easily, I was bewildered terribly. And it feels even an inexpressible fear. By any chance, would this be that my brain started to degenerate because it came to think nothing else but the eating? So, would it be that it falls into the illusion that it is hungry? However, my sense of hunger is fact, not phantom. This is certain because it is one's own touch though it feels strange a little. It probably would be that a sense of hunger is the independent existence not relating to my flesh at least in this place. I must have been caught to the real existence like that called hunger. I, with thinking so, made myself understand for the moment.
	Anyhow, I feels a hunger now actually. If so, it doesn't seem it is useful to think of its cause for long. It rather seems it should earn the daily bread with turning over the soil, cutting down the trees. And, it also seems to be the manner of living a normal person keeps. Even if I behaves like that, no one would blame me whether this place is the real world or not because it is that I live as human being. At that time, I thought so as if it is natural course. It probably is because I had become estranged from true thinking for long. "It is impossible to deny a fact". Thinking so, I worked to earn my daily bread desperately. And, I also fulfilled the request the hunger and worldly desires produce. However, the various desires become stronger increasingly whenever it is fulfilled. And, those desires all were the fact, not phantom. It is impossible that anyone denies a fact. At least it was the fact I selected. Anyhow, the desires gushing out of me one after another force me to accumulate the wealth persistently. So, I worked single-mindedly, accepting those requests obediently though it didn't know the reason so clearly. And, in that result, I came to be rich like this. I now can view the beautiful rice fields or other from my residence standing on the hill. And, the pasture the cows and so on have a rest in is extending until the border of the woods and the detestable wasteland. The land to cultivate is nowhere anymore. Since many trees had been cut down, the vestige of the former forest almost had been lost. And the hollow in question having helped me also can be found out nowhere. It is that I had cut that tree probably. But I can't recollect the thing strangely. It had forgotten even the mind to thank the hollow of that tree. Feeling of lamentation crosses my mind a little. However, various desires pushed the sentimental mood like that to the bottom of the mind. "It is sin to not recognize a fact because of the longing to a lost thing. If my life is good now, all is good, because the future isn't a fact.". I, thinking so, admitted the fact that the forest is about to be lost. And, unfortunately I also didn't look back at the past.
	Look at that! The forest the good fairy governs on is already producing the great wealth, changing to the beautiful fields and pastures. So, many crops and many livestock had come to be increased acceleratedly. Although it looked strange a little, it is that those seed and the parents of livestock appeared in front of my eyes whenever I hope so. If I were in usual mental state, it was supposed to think that the good fairy gave me those. But at that time I didn't think like that strangely. I, though not knowing why, pushed away the thinking like that, accepted those strange phenomenons as the given fact. And I was spending the comfortable days, obeying my desires casually. My wealth grows increasingly under the situation like that. So, I was on the crest of the wave in the middle of the abundant wealth before noticing. However, recently, my mind often gets confused, being possessed to a inexpressible sense of futility. And, suspicious feelings well up out of the bottom of the mind as a time. Furthermore, it often shakes me hard, becoming a brutal impulse. However, I can't know its reason though not knowing why. So, I lost the peace of the mind, caught to an inexpressible fear.
	Recently, silver grasses and weeds, and so on growing in the wasteland often rustle harder than before. By any chance, would it relate to the detestable impulse's welling out of my mind? However, I can't find the sure answer though it thought many times. Probably it was because I had lost the custom to think deeply. However, why did I fall into the situation like that? I started to inspect my brain, caught to the question like that suddenly. And I could find out one unbelievable fact. It is that my brain had nothing besides the knowhow of filling the desires. The standard to judge good or evil had been controlled by the knowhow like that. Furthermore, the love and sympathy aren't found in my brain. Probably because of the reasons like that, I was forced to accept a fact as a fact though it would have been unconsciously. So, it is that the vague anxiety kept on growing in my mind day after day, led me to a sleeplessness at last. It doesn't seem that the brutal impulse which often appears recently isn't related to the thing. It was certain there is the mind which should be taken back, being forgotten somewhere. However, the daily works necessary to fill my desires don't give me the time to take back my true mind. So, I was obliged to work desperately, using the knowhow which was left on my brain while fighting with Morpheus, to fill my desires. And, the hard work to take back my true mind kept on getting ignored, like the deficit financing keeping increasing.
			Now under the situation like that, one incident occurred. When I was checking my wealth, while reading the figure of accounts, I suddenly peeped at the sky through the window, getting good mood strangely. Just then, it can see the outdoor very bright with the rare fine weather. I went to the wide verandah casually, taking the account books with the left hand. It may be that it thought " the irritation recently apt to catch me would be cured". There is my favorite rocking chair on the verandah. I, sitting down on there, again started to examine my wealth. However, it feels a sleepiness somehow. Would it be because it have gotten tempted to the warm sunlight? Or else, would it have been the effect of the sleeplessness accumulated for long? I had slept before noticing. Fragments of dream often cross my mind. And, one dull dream filled with worldly desire started.
	Although it doesn't know why, numbers of cows and number of sheep each had changed, before noticing, each time it calculates the wealth. However, at that time, the total of the sheep and cows doesn't change. And, strangely the total of the wealth has the same value every time it calculates. "Does it mean that cows are the same creature as sheep? Why don't numbers of them increase?". I in the middle of the dream were repeating the calculation insistently, possessed to strange question. However, I can't find out the answers though not knowing why. Furthermore it can't recollect even the difference between the taste of beef and the taste of ram. I strangely fell into the cornered feeling. But I noticed at once this is a dream though it may be because the sleep was shallow. If so, even if it forgets all the things, it isn't necessary to worry because all are supposed to be solved if it wakes up. I, untied from the hard problem at last, entrusted myself to the comfortable sleep. But it is strange. It feels a sign of someone, from the outside of the dream. In other words, it feels there is someone behind me in reality, not a dream. It was certain that I'm about to be untied from the dream. But, I for a moment denied one's feeling, said to myself there isn't to be a person here. It is because I hadn't seen even one person ever since I got in this wasteland. However, it can't deny this feeling somehow though it may be from the effect of a loneliness. I suddenly opened the eyes, and turned the eyes to the direction of the strange sign. Then, I find one old person there. However, is he a person, really? The old man is too slender like a withered twig, strangely not vigorous. And, to all appearances, he doesn't seem to be a common being. By any chance, would it be a ghost or evil spirit? I had stood on my guard before noticing.
	But it feels strange. Although I always were paying attention to the suspicious sign the wasteland gives off, ever since I went into this forest, there wasn't the thing the evil spirits or other invade in this forest. In spite of that, why is the weird old man in front of my eyes? By any chance, is it that he isn't an evil spirit? Since I had believed I am safe if I don't go into the wasteland, I got bewildered terribly, being in the situation it had neglected paying the attention about evil spirits before noticing. Just then, the old man says "it was my fail I rescued you" with a menacing look. But what does he mean? I sank myself into the thinking, getting bewildered for a moment. And, narrowly I could recollect he is the good fairy governing this forest and is the fairy having rescued me. To my surprise, it is that I had forgotten him under the reason to say I'm busy until this. I could feel easy, at length noticing the thing. However, why did he become shabby like this? His gray clothes having a faint brown color are so miserable condition terribly as if it is moth-eaten-leaves or other. And, his skin is pale strangely. By any chance, he may have illness of something. Or else, is he getting hungry? Apparently, it seems its possibility is strong. If so, he must have come here to beg. Needless to say, I'm not forgetting it was under the care of him in the old days. I stint him of nothing if within the food or old clothes. I like that had looked down on the good fairy before noticing. And, would it be because I was under the mental condition like that? I didn't try to understand his words.
	Just then, the spirit dying looking says "I had told you this problem many times, but you didn't notice my talk because of your too strong desire", staring at me with the eyes having hatred. His words had the pressure so strong that he doesn't look to be dying. However, I yet don't notice what his words mean though I felt sorry slightly to have made light of him. "Why, did I do so bad things for you ? The thing I did here is only the having cultivated this land, gotten the wealth. Say obediently "give me something".". At the bottom of the heart, I spat out at him the terrible oath like that in spite of oneself. Needless to say, I'm not a person so foolish that it tell him like that directly. I asked him modestly "What are you talking about?", pretending to know nothing. However, the good fairy shows the anger in the looks suddenly. "Don't you notice yet?". He blamed me like that ironically as if it says I am silly. But I can't understand even his irony. I regarded him only in silence. However, he turns his face away from me, saying "Although I thought you are excellent among people a little, It was my fail to have thought so". However, I with so painful effort increased the crops and livestock, and so on, cutting down trees and cultivating soil. This is my pride. In spite of that, he spat out the ironical words to me as if I'm silly. "What of my behavior has hurt your feelings?". I asked him like that straight but modestly, hiding my irritation in effort. However, the dying-looking spirit, after keeping the silence for a little while, told me with cold attitude. "I see. It seems you can see nothing besides the past. So, you notice nothing!". "Why, what do you mean? What on earth don't I notice?". I, increasingly getting irritated, asked him like that as if it blames him. But, the good fairy grins with sad attitude as if it sneers at himself, when drooping his head. I was bewildered because of his unexpected attitude. Just then, the good fairy murmurs "Now thing has come to this pass, it is meaningless anymore to explain to you, because I die soon" as if it tells oneself. I was bewildered, feeling difficult to understand his true intention.
			However, does the spirit not having the flesh die really? By any chance, it may be that he only said like that, getting angry against me. Even if it is so, the threat like that seems to be mean. "Does it mean the thing you don't defend me?". I in spite of myself asked him like that with a little voice timidly. However, the good fairy doesn't answer at all. He starts to melt into the dark gradually, leaving the regrettable atmosphere around the place he is in. And he disappeared completely, soon. "All of the evils to happen after this are the things your silly behavior invites!". Although he seems to have said like that, it doesn't know whether it is real or not. Anyhow, I waked up there. However, what on earth does the dream of the dying-looking spirit mean? By any chance, does it relate to the savage impulse I often feel recently? Somehow I can't think that is mere dream. Though it isn't clear what the dream showed, I feel a presentiment of collapse vaguely. And, inexpressible uneasiness filled my mind.
	The true character of object.					The dream like reality./Introduction."	To Next story."
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