"The being behind this world. "        1. The sudden letter.   This first was written in Japanese language in 2004 year. Then, this time, it was translated into English again. December 19, 2015. It changed the title, in my convenience, and corrected the unsatisfactory parts of English in the extent of my knowledge. It added the several URL to link up in July 19, 2016. It fixed the language of html in February 9, 2017. Noguti Hiromasa.						Home for the English edition. 2. Katsuo in kid ages.
	August 10, 1999: Recently I'm sinking into the thought variously about my friend, Katsuo when noticing suddenly. It must be because his behaviors and the letter in question to me hard to understand shake my mind frequently. Yes, I had noticed his behavior and letter in question to me aren't the products of his madness. So, today I each time decided to write the various questions about him which flash suddenly at my heart, and the changes of my understanding about him. However, I still can't know clear what his message means. So, first, I, while recalling his history consider what he was thinking how till he fell into the unfortunate state like that. About two years ago, I received the sudden letter from Katsuo who was the friend ever since the highschool age. But since there had been no contact with him at all until I receive this letter ever since he refused my telephone call and e-mail, it was unexpected letter for me really. "Why did he send me this letter suddenly now?" I got bewildered a little at that time. Furthermore, when it opens the letter, it has a unbelievable lengthy sentence and abnormal contents. Although it stated the outline at the beginning a little, he, getting mental illness about four years ago, had entered certain mental hospital which is in Sapporo City and been under medical treatment for about three years. And, now he isn't in this world anymore unfortunately. About one year ago, Sapporo City was attacked by horrible storm. It's a morning. The patients all were taking as usual a meal in the dining hall. Since that day was the last day Christmas Eve was about to come, there already is the Christmas tree in the dining hall. It heard that many patients were taking the dinner, with bright look. But, it seems that a part of patients had shown the uneasiness openly because of thunder which often roars. Needless to say, Katsuo also was supposed to be one of the patients feeling the threats. But, Katsuo's attitude was different from the other patients a little. According to certain male nurse, Katsuo, while sometimes looking at the other patients showing uneasiness, was taking the meal in silence. And, when the male nurse looks at him from behind, he looked to hide one's uneasiness, to be trying to keep a calm. When it thinks about Katsuo, he had exposed the habit like that since the time he is student. Although he disliked a scuffle and a competition or other, he terribly disliked the situation one's self is understood to be "one of them". When I heard the attitude he showed in the dining hall, I murmured "he hadn't died yet" in my heart in spite of oneself. At that time, surely Katsuo had felt uneasy as well as the other patients. By any chance, it may be that he had been tensed more than the other patients. Probably he was fighting with the fear so strong that his mind may get crushed. However, the horrible storm, as if it is Satan or other, hits the windows with the countless rain drops like bullets. The patients came back to one's room as if it escapes from Satan or other at once when it finishes the meal. Acloss the window, lightning frashes, again. And, immediately horrible roll of thunder resounded. The thunder seems to have struck at somewhere close to this hospital. The hospital's lighting all has gone out.
The origin of Japanese culture.			The patients and also the male nurses stared at the darkness of night across the window, getting stiffened with a fear. The patients become noisy a little. It is hard to say that it's good situation. One of the male nurses stretched the left arm to the telephone which is by him. Just then, the lighting recovers suddenly. Probably it seems that the circuit breakers were only cut off temporarily. The male nurses, feeling easy, turned the eyes to the patients who are in the dining hall. However, someone had fallen on one's face on the floor. And, vacant dishes and tray, and so on were lying around him. When one male nurse sees, running up to him, that is Katsuo. Although the male nurse calls his name, there is no answer. And in spite of the doctor's maximum effort, he couldn't live until next day comes. Strangely, the cause of his death isn't so clear even now. I heard considerably after that it finally was concluded that the cause would be the heart failure caused because of his getting stimulated hard with the sudden thunder. However, when thinking about the cause of his death now, I feel the opinion like that is too superficial opinion. I feel there is the deeper spiritual cause behind the stimulus the thunder brought. It was because I started to feel the letter in question is talking the truth about certain secret. "Somehow I must solve this mystery". I made up like that my mind now.
	Several years ago, I had returned to Sapporo, resigning from the company in Tokyo. It is because since then one year ago retroactively, my father supposed to have been very strong fell down suddenly, went away from this world easily. But, it isn't all along I had thought to do so. I had gone back to my home in Tokyo three days after funeral. However, whenever I go into the bed at night, my mother's face getting thin cross my mind. My mother had lived, always relying on my father though it doesn't know whether it is because she was in poor health. At least I had the impression like that for her. As it thought, it doesn't seem to be good choice that it leaves her living by oneself. So, one day, I called my mother after telling my wife about my idea about my mother. And, I suggested to my mother living together with us in my home in Tokyo. However, my mother, saying "I don't want to leave Hokkaido, because I'm living for long keeping our grave here", doesn't accept my suggestion. Since I don't know how to persuade her that day, I for the moment tabled the persuading her. However, it can't leave her living by oneself in Sapporo for long. I tried to persuade her, often telling her. However, her answers always were same as the first answer. If so, how should I do? Although I suffered from this matter a little, I, after telling my wife my idea about the matter of my mother and making her agree though it was the considerably hard work, found out the job in Sapporo. So, I could go back to Sapporo with my wife somehow. Although it doesn't know whether there was good way else, This was the conclusion I who is indecisive found out barely. However, was that my decision really? I get caught to the doubt like that even now. Although it may be the odd idea, it imagines soul of Katsuo may have drawn me to Sapporo before it notices. Needless to say, it doesn't seem that the thing like that occurs. I should shake this delusion off as soon as possible. And it has to know about Katsuo deeply to do so. This is my firm belief, yet. Needless to say, since this firm belief isn't based on the obvious evidence, I think to follow this belief though it can tell nobody. This is the fight of only me. My house now is in Ebestu City which neighbours the northeast of Sapporo City. Since it is situated to the quiet residential area my wife's parents' house stands in, it thought that my mother can feel easier here than living in noisy Sapporo. Needless to say, this was the choice my wife's convenience also is related to. And, at the time we started to live in Ebestu, I heard the rumor that Katsuo entered the mental hospital. It seems to be true when it examines whether it is true or not. I at once went to the hospital, confirming the location. However, according to the doctor, Katsuo's mental condition is unstable terribly. And, the doctor says "you can't see him because he refused to see you". I went back to my home, falling into the gloomy mood while caught to the sense that something stick in my throat. Since it with driving for an hour, can arrive at the hospital Katsuo is in, I visited that hospital several times for first about two years after Katsuo entered the hospital. However, the person in charge always says "he refused to see you". So I couldn't meet Katsuo after all. I doubted the truth of the person in charge's word secretly. But when one day, I visited the hospital, I happened to meet his mother there. When I states greeting, she suddenly says "I have to hear about the condition of Katsuo from the doctor today" and regards me as if it asks me for help or other. It may be that she have the premonition that his son is exposed to a serious problem of something. I thought that it shouldn't leave her to this situation because of her imminent attitude. Thereupon, I tentatively suggested to her that I hear the doctor's explanation together with her. And, since she accepted my suggestion at once, I heard the doctor's talk together with her. However, I at that time didn't even imagine the thing I come to write like this about Katsuo.
Civilization and living body.			According to the doctor, Katsuo's illness is the schizophrenia carrying an active behavior caused by mental factors of something though Katsuo falls into the condition like the psychotic depression as a time. And he is possessed to a strange delusion, and is in a tense mental condition always. Then, the doctor added the words that it seems that at the moment, his judgement on the daily life almost is normal. Hereupon one question crosses my mind suddenly. "If so, isn't it that it isn't illness so serious?". I had asked like that to the doctor before noticing. However, the doctor, shaking one's head slightly, says "in the case of him, there almost isn't the correlation between the judgement for daily life, and the extent of his illness". And he added the words that please accept this fact but it may be hard to understand. And he, while regarding us, said that you should accept there is the state of mind like that though it may be hard to understand this. Although as the doctor said, it was the talk hard to understand, it strangely comes to feel that it understood the doctor's words as it hears the doctor's talks. We nodded without the words. Just then, the doctor, turning his face to me, says "Well, he isn't the condition so bad that you can't see him". And, he, saying moreover "But, if it considers the thing he keeps on refusing to see you, it would be better to not meet him, because this is mental illness", regarded me with the regretful atmosphere. I couldn't but agree his suggestion. And, Katsuo's attitude of refusal to me didn't change until he, after entering the hospital died like that.
	In spite of that, why did he think to send me the letter when he felt that one's self will die? The thing trouble my mind. And, recently I came to doubt that it may be that I'm not noticing there is a message of something into that letter as it reads the letter. However, on the other hand, it also gets caught to the sense that the letter colored by Katsuo's madness is trying to implicate me in the uncanny delusion. Whenever I fall into the gloomy mood like that, I, coming to hate even the turning the eyes to the letter, hid the letter into the drawer secretly when picking up it with the thumb and the forefinger. However, strangely, after two or three days, the letter necessarily had returned on the desk. Needless to say, it isn't that the letter moved to the surface of the desk with one's will. I put it on the desk, taking it out of the drawer. It is certain because my memory says like that. However, sensuously, it never was the behavior by my will. By any chance, is I also possessed to the madness of something? So, I came to think about this question. But, at the same time I feel it is getting confused by that uncanny letter. Somehow it is a weird sense. "I will stop reading this letter". Everytime it is caught to the strange feeling, I thought like that. However this problem doesn't get finished so easy. I couldn't stop reading the letter though it doesn't know why. By any chance, did a madness of something possess my mind? Or else, is it that Katsuo's madness influenced my mind? To tell the truth, I saw the dream of Katsuo the night of the former day in the day it will receive the letter in question. When I'm going out of the house for the work, I noticed that Katsuo is standing in front of my house with the appearance of young age. But, he says nothing, only staring at me in silence. "Oh, Katsuo, what's wrong?". I asked him like that in spite of oneself. However, he keeps the silence. "Is he Katsuo really?". I, feeling strange a little, tried to approach him. Just then, what a uncanny thing it is! he suddenly disappeared. And when coming to oneself, I had been untied out of the strange dream. However in spite of the dream pretty short, its impression is left in my heart with clear images. And I got bewildered because of its strong impression. But since I was busy terrible in the work that day, there isn't the spare time it think about Katsuo. I concentrated on the work at once, driving away the strange and vague questions out of my mind. However when returning home finishing the work, the letter in question from Katsuo had reached my home. My wife, saying "This was dropped into the mail box about ten o'clock", handed me the letter in question.
	But, I, when confirming that the name of sender is Katsuo, got caught to an inexpressible uneasiness. By any chance, it may be that the dream in question was the notice that Katsuo is exposed to the danger of something. In that moment, my wife looked at me with anxious attitude. It may be that she noticed that I changed color. However, it is impossible to explain because it is an unclear uneasiness even for me. Ignoring my wife before noticing, I called the hospital Katsuo is in. And it asked about Katsuo's condition. However the person in charge, after saying "there's nothing particular", keeps silence. It seems that it is the sign saying that it said the thing to say. It is quite the unsatisfactory answer for me. I was the mood to want to hear more. However if I ask him about Katsuo persistently, he may think an unfounded suspicion against me. I, saying "Okay, thanks", have hung up the receiver at once. "However, is that answer trustworthy really?". I, while eating the delayed night meal, was about to be caught to a vague presentiment of something. But it doesn't want to think that the bad incident occurs. "It is bad to think too seriously. Well, his condition was improved probably because it is that he sent me the letter". I, thinking like that with following my expectancy, pushed the vague uneasiness into the bottom of the heart after all. However how are the contents of the letter? The thing is on my mind somehow. I, when sitting at the desk it uses for the works, cut the letter open at once.						The physical world the cognition-subject sees.
	However when I see, Katsuo's handwriting is rough as if it has been scribbled. Also the relation among the sentences is so vague. To all appearances, It doesn't seem that it is so easy to read this letter. Anyhow in this, it was certain that his condition isn't being improved. "Should it think that the madness made him write this letter?". I, thinking like that, turned my eyes away from the letter. And, it, not knowing how to think, had stared at the corner of the desk for a little while before noticing. When looking at the rough letters and sentences, It somehow gets caught to the sense that it is watching the situation his mind collapses. I, when returning the letter into the envelope, have put it on the desk with the slightly trembling hand. However it seems that the fact that he sent me this letter is weighty whether he is in bad condition or not. It may be that this letter is the evidence there still is the friendship with me in his heart. Would he have wanted to tell me something really? Or, would it be his memory in the period he still was normal have made him write this letter? "Anyhow I have to read this". I, when thinking like that, started to read the letter again. Needless to say, I was obliged to keep my patience for long, to read the shaky sentences. And, I narrowly could know what he wrote. It shows the contents of the letter in question next.
	"I found out by chance certain secret about Satan, considerably before. Although it wasn't that it particularly had the intention like that, it fell into the situation like that. But since the doctors and patients in this hospital all are the materialist, they don't believe my talk. Although I don't know its datail so clearly, there also seems to be the followers of Satan here. So, I was hesitating to meet you for long. To tell the truth, the reason why I didn't send you a letter and why it tried to not meet you was because there is the circumstance like this. The followers of Satan are keeping a watch on me from considerably old times and also now. So, I didn't want to involve you in this problem of mine. However, the situation is imminent considerably now. So, I couldn't but depend on you. I will die, soon. I want at least you to understand the problem I found out. And if it is possible to do so, please rescue the world. I, thinking like that, sent you this letter.						Three dimension universe with characteristic time.
	The god created the world, wanting to recognize one's self. In other words, the god as cognition-subject wanted to become as the object able to recognize. In that reason, the god made oneself materialize as world, that is, physical existence called universe. And, the god tried to know oneself with observing the move of universe. But the created world included the unexpected existence. It is because the god as rightful existence, to know oneself, needed non rightful existence, that is, existence opposite from oneself. So, Satan was born. There is the description stating that a certain angel became Satan, resisting the god, in the Bible though you wouldn't know the thing because you are Buddhist. As a matter of fact, that description means the thing I stated now. It is that Satan as the spiritual enemy the god should recognize appeared in the moment that the god creates the world. Therefore, the world started to move, based on the contradiction in between the god and Satan. We can find out its evidence into the universe and also our mind. Needless to say, the god at once realized this problem occurred. But the god never tried to erase the world. The world's disappearing means that the god's cognition is lost. In other words, it is that the god with the consciousness already had become existence unable to exist if the world as "object" which includes Satan doesn't exist. Thereupon, the god tried to defeat Satan, with raising the ideals for justice and love, for peace, and peace of mind. And the god tried to entrust those ideals to the living things. It is because the god had changed to the pure true cognition-subject, with going out from chaos in the moment the god created the world. Once the world appeared, the god can't create the living things if ignoring the principle of the universe even if it is the Creator. In other words, the god was obliged to create "creature", relying on the principle the movement of each object for cognition produced. Needless to say, it means that it isn't that the god produced this physical principle. This principle was born as the result that many stimuluses the objects for cognition emit or receive produces information transmission.
Evolution to be brought by chance and inevitably.			We should know the thing that various stimuluses work as information not only for human being but even for all substances. The reason why the substance shows certain reaction when certain stimulus is given under certain conditions is because the stimulus works as information. And, since the objects for cognition are the appearance of god who are cognition-subject, it is that the information transmission among the object like that is possible. The god understands the world, that is, oneself through the thing countless object recognized. Needless to say, it is natural that for the god, the god's understanding must include the understanding that the god is the rightful existence. Therefore, as it stated before, the god needs Satan who is non rightful existence, and also, the god who is rightful existence. Immediately after the world appeared, information transmission among the substances had started. And, as it stated before, the principle of universe, that is, the physical principle also was composed, as substances evolve because of the information transmission which is done among substances. Therefore since then, it came impossible that the god's intention works directly to the universe. And, the confrontation between the god and Satan who was born together with the universe invaded even into the creatures, becoming terrible contradiction.
	The thing can be found at once if it sees one living thing kills and eats the other living thing for his descendents. In other words, the living things fought or exploited each other with following one's worldly desire. In that reason, it also came impossible that the god directly moves the world with its will. However, it necessarily doesn't mean the thing that the god was defeated. It is because most of living things, trying to make the god's ideal materialize though it is unconsciously, are living while narrowly helping each other because of instinct of species- preservation. However, it is certain the situation of the world is far from the god's ideal. The world is the place of the endless fight between the god and Satan, is the place filled by contradictory things countless cognition-subjects, that is, substances keep on producing, with reacting by the stimulus others emit as it stated before. Apparently, this fight looked to continue till the end of the world, unable everlastingly to decide who won. Satan is the will to want the cruel behavior and destruction and nothingness persistently. But if Satan doesn't exist, it doesn't follow that the world exists. Thereupon, the god gave the living things soul, that is, existence different from substances. It never be exaggeration even if it says that soul the god gave them is the god itself. Then since a soul we have is mental existence, not material existence, it didn't seem to be influenced by the material principle of this world. At least in principle, it was to be so. And in that reason, the god's ideal was supposed to materialize at least at the heart. However, Satan is cunning to the bitter end. He led the material principle of the universe to influence even soul the god gave the living things. Needless to say, behind the thing, there is Satan's inborn advantage that he was born together with the universe as existence which isn't permitted to lack for the god's recognition even if the god doesn't want Satan's beirth. And existence with soul shoulder the fate that an expression of a soul doesn't come possible if it doesn't use material existence at least in this world. The thing also gave Satan the advantage. So, the people, caught to the worldly desires, distorted the god's ideal or even trampled it underfoot in public. Furthermore the people killed the people, with pretending the god's ideal as a time. It was because Satan tempts the people to do so. So, the people came to tend to forget the work to do the god gave them. I think that the doctor's work is the curing disease by the medical treatment carrying love. The prosecution's and the police's work is the not allowing the social evils. But, it is hard to assert that they always are doing like that. And, it also can say the same things on other people as well. Really it is that it is the Satan's trap so dangerous that politicians, scholars, and common people, and even clergy get tempted, in spite of oneself. If the people forget the ideal the god gave them, the world would get in confusion and finally become nothingness. And this must be Satan's final purpose surely. So, Satan, to finish doing one's intrigue completely, tries to influence especially strongly the persons who is in the socially important position, using the principle of this world. Therefore, the god demanded them have the excellent insight necessary to confront Satan at this world. But unfortunately the people believing in the god came to be a few now. Certainly the god created us. However, it never be exaggeration, even if it asserts that we are the god itself. And Satan was born as the existence opposite from us. In other words, Satan is only the existence necessary to make us realize that we are the rightful existence. In that reason, we have to fight with Satan and frustrate Satan's intrigue with the ideal the god gave us. The ignoring Satan's intrigue is nothing else but to be the denial of one's existence, and the denial of the god. I now is being imprisoned in this hospital because of Satan's intrigue. But I have to tell the people about Satan's intrigue. So, I sent you this letter to trust you with this work of mine. If the person aware of the thing is nowhere, the world would be swallowed to nothingness sometime. Please rescue this world.
	However, would you also think this is the rubbish the madman speaks? But listen to me! Our consciousness is the window necessary for the god's watching the world. And the god is the spiritual world itself. In other words, the god opens the window called consciousness toward this world, trying to get one's realization. It is our consciousness can be connected with each through the spiritual world anytime. So, I can watch your mind through the spiritual world. Although I don't know why it became so when, it became possible to do so suddenly one day. I can open the window called consciousness, toward not only the material world but also the spiritual world. So, I could know Satan's intrigue. It often is said that the god know all. Although most of people don't interpret this as literal, regarding this as the figure of speech this is the truth really. Our behaviors all are inscribed to the space-time in detail. You also would understand the thing in non so far times. I already know you become so. There still are many things I want to talk. But Satan may notice existence of this letter if I'm contacting contact you for too long. It is problem. I intend to contact you again if it is possible. Goodby."						The secret of memory and the possibility world.
	However, as Katsuo says, since the time I read this letter, I for long had regarded this as rubbish a madman states. In the university period, Katsuo once had stated "Satan is obstructing my perceiving" with the earnest attitude. When I stare at him in spite of oneself, he says "It sprinkles a poison of something over me, ambushing me at market, by any chance, it may be Satan went into my brain". That is too unusual utterance. Although I got frightened, feeling weird for a moment I interpreted it as a joke. In those days, it often heard the news that someone sprays the shoppers with a burglar spray secretly at supermarket or other. Although he may be the victim of the incident like that, it can't be Satan's handiwork. "Is it so? Then?". I asked him like that with the tone like a joke, trying to know his mind. Then, he says "Er, I get very tired in that, because it comes hard to think.". I at that time couldn't forget the weird atmosphere he gave off. Although I felt anxious of his mental condition really, since he didn't refer to the thing ever since, I had forgotten the anxiousness like that before noticing. However, when it now guesses, reading this letter, it seems that it is proper to think that his utterance in the university period was the typical delusion certain mental patient sees. In other words, it seems that the utterance in question wasn't as a joke, was utterance from the heart. And, if so, it also was certain that the contents of this letter are the reflection of his delusion brought by the madness. By any chance, it may be that the bud of this madness was in his heart ever since he was the student. I feel the inexpressible pain hard to shoulder, in my mind when now recalling the university period. I remember that it fell into terribly gloomy mood, strangely feeling a part of mine is about to be lost after reading that letter first. And, it sank into the thought about whether I should write the answer. It was because I was caught to the negative emotion about the contact with him. By any chance, it may be because it was hard to find out the meaning of writing the answer because of the too rough sentences. But he is one of a few friends, even if this letter was written by the madness. "It can't but send him the reply". I, when rethinking like that, sent him the reply after all. However, there is no contact from him ever since, as I guessed before. So, I telephoned the hospital one day, and asked the doctor about his condition. But the doctor, with heavy tone, says "it is hard to say it is good". According to the doctor, the medicine doesn't work so. It seems to be because the cause of the illness is the mental factors probably. Anyhow it was certain his illness became worse than before. If so, it should think that the madness led him to write that letter. At that time I tought like that. And, I had forgotten all the things about the letter in question until he died like that.
			However, there is no contact from him ever since, as I guessed before. So, I telephoned the hospital, and asked the doctor about his condition. But the doctor, with heavy tone, says "it is hard to say it is good". According to the doctor, the medicine doesn't work so. It seems to be because the cause of the illness is the mental factors probably. Anyhow it was certain his illness became worse than before. "As it thought before, it should think that the madness led him to write that letter". Ever since I thought so, I, forgetting about the letter in question, didn't even recall there was the letter, until he died like that.
2. Katsuo in kid ages.    3. The strange turn of fate.    4. Katuo's ability.    5. Lifework.    6. The wavering soul.    7. Satan's intrigue.    8. The mystery about recognition.
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