"Behind this world."
4. Katuo's ability.


This first was written in Japanese language in 2004 year. And it was revised in December, 2012.
So, this time, it was translated into English again with a little detailed contents than Japanese edition. January 29, 2013. Noguti Hiromasa.

5. Lifework.






February 13, 2000: When having started to write this, I had thought that it can recollect the past easily. However, in reality, since it has to do the confirmation of the fact and also recollect my understanding about its fact and also my feelings, it doesn't go so well that I thought before. It seems it needs the considerably long time, to finish writing all.

1 His university life.

When he entered the university, he became cheerful considerably compared with former days. Our university is in Kanagawa prefecture very far from Hokkaido we born, were brought up. It seems it gave him good effect that he started the life by oneself, leaving the parents. Probably he at last was tasting the sense of freedom it didn't know ever since it was born. However, it seems that it wasn't so easy to mix with others frankly as it is same as former days. The persons he can talk frankly were limited to a few friends. He didn't know to doubt others since his infant period. Or, it, not so, may be that it was feeling a fear it may doubt others. However in spite of his mind like that, it seems that it wasn't rare that he was betrayed by others. "The incidents like that together with his passive nature make him dodge the contact with others". I in those days was thinking like that.

However, in those days, I remember that it felt as a time it saw one uncanny part of his personality. It is that I thought that it may be that he lacks a kind of sense to cope with others. But at that time I didn't think about it so deeply because it was the vague feeling. However, when it thinks about it now, it seems that his strange personality I felt before is based on the mental experience in his infant period. And probably its experience was the horrible wall rising in front of his eyes between himself and the world.
"Others always are living in the world different from my world. Something is obstructing my contact with others.". He must have thought so. And probably, his mental wall like that oppressed the inborn nature the human being inherits to have the sense of unity together with others. He was suffering with a kind of the sense of isolation though it doesn't know whether he was aware of one's problem like that or not.

I in those days have belonged to the club learning the social science called Legal Method. And, Katsuo also went into this club at once when entering the university. Since I was his senior one year at this university, he depended on me about various things. Furthermore, apparently he looked to have been the thought that to do so is common. He as a time asks me even about the things put on the notice board though it is supposed to be able to know if watching the notice board. I often was caught to the impulse to say "Why are you?". But it is awkward to leave him not knowing much of the daily life. In those days I was hearing his selfish requests, with the mind like that. Needless to say, it isn't I also knew the society so. But Katsuo in those days was the happy-go-lucky fellow so horrific that no one can imagine.

In those days, Japan was in the middle of the terrific economic progress. Conversely, the storm of student movement with the extreme left-wing thought had started to become weak. But the extreme left-wing thought still kept on influencing the society, especially students. However, it seems that the thought like that had started to degenerate into a kind of the fashions, coming to be used to show the wisdom. Anyhow, many students stating the left-wing thought were selecting the left-wing thought in the brain, selecting the capitalism in the stomach secretly. And the brain like that is eaten by the stomach, soon. The detestable crimes we see now, and also present confused politics, or other must be occurring because of the social circumstances like that. In other words, the people came to tend to think nothing besides the daily life.
What we need now is our thought which is based on the Japanese culture permeating into our mind. And to establish the thought like that, we must start from rewriting the ancient Japanese history rightly. But unfortunately the movement like that isn't occurring. Even now, the philosophy we hear in Japan is the imitation of the West European philosophy. And, the ancient Japanese history is hiding certain truth in the political reason. Because of that, the philosophical principle to lead Japan isn't born even now. So, we, keeping on living only for the stomach, lost sight of the guiding principle of how to live.

Reference: The origin of Japanese culture and, The world view as its logical conclusion.

However, in those days, he isn't aware of this problem as I was so. We in those days were believing in the honest mind the students stating the left-wing thought would have, though we had doubted the left-wing thought. And it was certain that we had the mental tendency to deny the given things as the youths in those days were so. So, it may be that we felt sympathy for the left-wing students. Although it may be because we were under the environment like that, we didn't spend the time to research the law so, in spite of having registered on the department of law. Or would it be because we had the habit of idling?
Anyhow, we rather interested oneself in the method for social science. But, we never have been in the situation we practice social science, using the method like that. The priority was given to enjoy the student life in most cases. Since needless to say, we, both almost hadn't money, it was hard to have splendid fun. However, in those days, we could enjoy freedom purely.

However it wasn't dissolute freedom to be observed in a part of the young men. It was understanding it should control oneself though it wasn't conscious understanding. And even if it thinks about it on the present society, it can say that this understanding is proper. The dissolute behavior rather makes the person lose the true freedom. It is because as for a person like that, it doesn't know one's true will. And if it hasn't the will, it is impossible to get the true freedom. If it asked Katsuo about this problem, he would have said that the dissolute behavior is the evidence that Satan, with using the person's desires secretly, controled that person for one's plan.
Needless to say, It isn't that I in those days behaved with self-control, considering the rule consciously. I was only following the custom in Japanese society unconsciously. In other words, since the social standard had permeated in imprinting into most people's subconscious, it would be it worked well. The social standard a person has in those days had been cultivated by the information transmission held among the said person, the parents, friends and neighbours before it is the conscious work. The feature of social standard seems to have to be like that originally.

2 The change of Katsuo.

Katsuo looked to have changed a little, getting promoted to the second grade in university. "We now have no political position possible to choose, besides the left-wing or the right-wing. Isn't this strange?". It is that he started to say like that. And, he started to read various books stating the political thought or other, saying " to argue with the extreme left-wing, I'll theorize on my idea". I remember it at that time listened to him with admiration and in wonder, feeling he progressed mentally. However, on the other hand, it couldn't but feel a fear of his talking with the people of extreme left-wing who justify the impulse of violence. It is that I in those days was thinking the extreme left-wing is the terribly boorish people though to tell the truth, it disliked the right-wing more than them. Since Katsuo in those days didn't know a human more than me, I worried over him, thinking his plan is reckless. I gave him the advice that he should stop the plan in question.

However, he didn't hear my advice. He, when finding out of a book, and so on the idea necessary for an argument, caught several students to look the left-wing and started to argue with them at once. But if it considers his behavior like that, it isn't so obvious whether he was understanding one's idea and behavior really or not. Well, fortunately, since his talk included the big jump of logic and furthermore was terribly dreamy, the fellows in the left wing rather looked to be amused with his talk. Although he, while saying "I was teased by them" once in a while, have shown one's anger, it seems there wasn't that he was punched by them, under their understanding that he is a odd fellow. By any chance, it may be that the thing the tone of his talk always was mild gave him the fortunate situation.

One day, Katsuo having been in the situation like that visited my room. Although this wasn't rare thing particularly, his look is bright different from usual him. "What's up?" When I asks him like that, he says "I established my theory to defeat the left-wing thought.". And he handed me several papers when saying "read this!". When I looks up at him in bewilderment, He went out of my room, saying nothing though having grinned a little.

After he disappeared, I turned my eyes to the first paper as if not so intended. It can see the title "The Contradiction of God" there. However, what theory is that? Although I felt an interest like that a little, it seems to be hard to expect so much because his thought comes to be dreamy increasingly since he entered this university. I turned to the second page for the moment. However, once I saw it a little, I got disgusted really. It doesn't look to be a theory at all. To all appearances, it is the mere story. The style of writing also is bad. I threw the papers, on the desk in spite of oneself. However I turns my eyes to the papers put on the desk before noticing. If I see him next, he would ask me about the impression of the story he wrote as the theory. It can't but read it as it thought before. I started to read it unwillingly. And its contents were as follows.

On one occasion, the god wanted universe. It is because the god isn't the existence that should be perceived originally though it is the existence that should get cognition. In other words, since the god is cognition-subject, not its object originally the god can't perceive oneself if the world to be expression of oneself is nowhere. In that reason, it is that the god thought it has to create universe to perceive oneself. However, various troubles may occur if it creates the universe. So, the god had hesitated to create the universe, feeling troublesome.
In spite of that, the god's impulse that creates the universe is so strong. So, the god created the universe impulsively in spite of oneself before it considers the troubles that will occur. Just then, the god's mind that feels troublesome separated from the god, becoming Satan. So, the universe came to get filled with the contradictions.

But the god didn't worry as for the thing so. It is because the god had given the universe the time. "The seed of my ideal will make the ideal world, spreading out into the universe as time goes on". It is that the god thought so. And, the universe started to move, trying to become the ideal universe as the god guessed in spite of Satan's intrigue. So, the living substances, that is, the life with soul appeared in this world, soon, and brought the human being to this world at last with evolving itself.

However, when the universe approaches the ideal in the process like that, Satan sneered at the god secretly. As a matter of fact, it is that Satan, considering the movement of world like that, foresaw that nothingness will swallow this world, soon. Satan's plan had advanced smoothly. However, Satan cunning pretends to know nothing. Satan was only observing the practice of the god's plan, hiding to the depths of the universe. On the other hand, the god believes firmly one's win when noticing that Satan became silent. And, as the god believed before, the god's ideal materialized at last. Needless to say, the people all admire the god. The god had arrived at the peak of pride at that time.

Just then, Satan appeared suddenly there. "Oh, God, my father! I had acted your enemy as my duty until now. And really now your plan materialized. Your ideal materialized! Let me celebrate this great result and admire your wisdom!". Satan said like that and prostrated oneself before the god as if it is the frog or other. The god said. "The king of the dark! You made my pure light prominent well. In this, your work is all over. I will allow you to return to me!". Satan bowed with respectful attitude and said. "Thank you for your kind words. But, there is one problem to settle. Certainly, our ideal materialized really now. However, if the time keeps on advancing as it is so, the ideal world would keep on moving furthermore. And if so, the ideal world would start to collapse because there isn't to be the world ideal more than this. It has to stop the time.".

The Satan's talk was very serious. "Why didn't he tell me this until now?". The god, when giving off the moan in spite of oneself, in the look filled with anger stared at Satan. If it is the usual god, it may have doubted the Satan's words. However, the god now is looking at his ideal world in front of the eyes, and is being caught to its sight. When thinking this ideal world collapses, it can't stand allowing of it at all. The god stopped the time at once, bewildered so terrible that it forgets to question to Satan closely. In that, the ideal world freezes at once. Furthermore, since even light froze, all were hidden by the dark. And, all perception also had been lost. It is that even the god's perception had been lost.

It doesn't need to say that the god got bewildered because of the not expected horrible situation. The god tried to recover the ideal world, hurrying without thought. However, because it already is the world frozen in absolute zero, the existence possible to move is nowhere anymore. Even the god also was shut into the icicle of absolute zero. And Satan's soundless voice resounds at the world of the nothingness. It certainly was saying "The god's ideal betrayed the god itself". But that voice also is lost at once. Really, it is the world of the true nothingness unable to know whether it is happy or not. Are you happy now? Or are you unhappy now? Can you judge about the thing now?
The end for the moment.

"What is this? Does he say this is his theory?". I, when having finished reading that, couldn't stand the laughing. However, it seemed that it could understand Katsuo's thought just a little. Marx's thought is the historical materialism. And the back bone supporting it was dialectic. However, the dialectic is ignored suddenly when he assumes his ideal materializes. If the dialectic is used to think about the society born when his ideal finished materializing, it would be because it is very awkward for his ideal. Needless to say, there are persons saying that it never be that the dialectic was ignored. However, Although it forgot what reason they stated about it, I couldn't find out the reason to make me understand. This was the serious contradiction which is found in Marx's thought.
"Katsuo must have written ironically about the thing with this story probably". I remember having thought like that at that time. However, when it thinks about the story in question now, it seems that besides it, there also were the other things he wanted to state. It is because it seems that the contents of the letter he wrote in the hospital have the point common to the story in question. By any chance, it may be that his madness, already in the university period started to be active in his heart.

Anyhow, it seems that he in those days was feeling a serious anxiousness, contrary to his cheerfulness. And when it thinks about his university period now, it recalls his cheerfulness looked to be superficial. By any chance, wouldn't it be that he wrote that story to hide the anxiousness he felt? So, it may be that he said to me as a joke "I established my theory". If so, what kind of anxiousness was he suffering? Anyhow, it seems that he expressed his anxiousness with using the words of "the Satan's plan". And, it also seems that the wall he in the infant period felt relates to the anxiousness in question.
However, what kind of anxiousness is it? Is it personal anxiousness? Rather it may be better to think it is the anxiousness related to the social crisis. The reason why I think so is because Katsuo had the rare ability different from others. Although it is hard to believe it, when he recognizes one fact, it is that it could foresee the future as a time.

When it thinks about his ability now, it may be that it was the ability given in return for his madness. In the high school period, Katsuo was excellent compared with me. However his record in the university always was poorer than me. However it seems it isn't that he couldn't understand the things it learned. It is because he stated the right conclusion in most cases, when given the question. But it often couldn't explain logically the process of the thinking. In those days, I easily had thought that it is because his ability withered though it felt strange a little. It is because the students cases the ability gets withered were seen as a time after it entered the university. But, in the case of Katsuo, it seems that it was different from that case a little when it now thinks.
When we judge the worth of a person, it tends to judge its worth easily with considering only the logical ability and the amount of knowledge. But it is hard to say the manner like that always is right. There are many persons stating the mistaken conclusion in spite of having the excellent logical ability, the abundant knowledge, and so on. And, since the conclusions the persons like that stated are defended by the strict logical thought, its influence to society is worse compared with the common persons' mistakes.

Contrary to that, there are the persons able to find out the proper answer for a certain question, though most of them logically can't explain well the process of the thinking. In other words, their brain cells work very strictly and exactly, to get the proper answer with understanding rightly the information brought from the outside world. In passing, in this case, the outside world includes the one's mind and body. However, it is that the function to explain is weak. It probably seems to be because the person like that can't confirm consciously the process of one's thinking. Probably it would be that Katsuo was the human being of the kind like that. In passing, most living things can't explain why one's judgement is right.
By the way, it is certain that Katsuo's ability to foresee the future isn't inborn. Not until he was promoted to second grade in the university, I narrowly could notice the ability in question Katsuo has. And I remember this ability came to be seen remarkably after a few months he resigned the company. In those days, he sent me the letter once in a while. And, the things that would occur in future often had been written there. Since it could tell no one it probably, it seems that it wanted me to realize it. Or else, since he still was young, it may be that it wanted to make a display of one's ability. Anyhow, I don't remember the cases his foreseeing was the mistake completely.
By the way, the cause of the mental illness isn't one. And we can see various conditions of illness, corresponding to each sufferer. For example, there is the case that the logical ability doesn't come to be almost weak though the ability of explanation is weak. And the person in the case like that has the excellent intuition probably.

The thing can be guessed if it observes Katsuo's talk and behavior a little. In the case of him, after the conclusion first was flashed on his brain, he looks for its explanation with logical thinking. His ability in question seems to be based on the feature like this of his brain. However, it seems to be hard to keep this ability, if it only has the feature like this of brain. It needs the large worldview having the consistency probably. Needless to say, in this case, it is natural that the consistence between the worldview like that and reality is important. To tell the truth, I also temporarily had the ability like that. So, since it thought about it for long, it could guess like that.
Anyhow, it is hard to think that the letter in question is only mad man's mere silly talk. However, what did he want to say in that letter? I still can't understand it well. I suddenly recalled the situation of his dying it heard in the rumor.


1. The sudden letter.  2. Katsuo in kid ages.  3. The strange turn of fate.  5. Lifework.

 6. The wavering soul.  7. Satan's intrigue.  8. The mystery about recognition.



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